Love the One You're With
by Foodie
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and Robert and Susan find themselves without plans for the occasion. They decide to be each other's Valentine. Could love be in the cards for them? Only time will tell! Companion piece to The Secret Santa.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story is the companion piece to The Secret Santa, the story I posted at Christmas. I decided to keep going with the idea of a Robert/Susan pairing and have a general plot for a story. This is the second part, and I will continue to post chapters under this story instead of keeping each one separate. Happy Valentine's Day and happy reading!

-Foodie

Robert had enjoyed getting to know Susan better since she'd spent Christmas with him. They'd started eating lunch at Doc Magoo's together a few times a week since then. He'd learned a lot about her, and had quickly come to see her as a good friend, something he didn't have a lot of. She was tentatively dating John Carter, had a penchant for film noire movies, and loved bread-and-butter pickles on the cheeseburgers she always got at Doc Magoo's. And even though she was a bleeding-hearted liberal, he still enjoyed debating politics with her. She never seemed to get upset with him, no matter how outlandish he got.

He enjoyed having somebody in his life he could honestly consider a friend. He wasn't competing with Susan, and she had a laidback approach towards life he found very refreshing. It helped temper his fiery attitude. He was always worked up over something: drama between coworkers, politics, people asking him for things. It all left him enraged, generally. Susan always seemed to help him forget his troubles, and put his life into perspective. She always had a way of calming him down again. She was consoling and indulgent in listening to his many complaints, before laughing them off. But the way she did it never upset him. In fact, it always made him smile.

They were currently sitting in a booth at Doc Magoo's for dinner on the last Thursday in January, waiting for their food to arrive. "The idiot actually tried to make the excuse that he didn't know the proper procedure because he was only a med student. I just don't see how kids these days can be so lazy and use excuses like 'I'm still learning' to get away with it!"

Susan grinned and shook her head. "Robert! They're just students!" she chided him while playfully hitting him on the arm. "You have to cut them a little slack. I would imagine there was a time when you didn't know everything either."

Robert rolled his eyes and took a bite of the Rueben that had arrived in the middle of his rant. He chewed for a minute before swallowing. "I was a model med student. I spent hours studying, reading text books, and any spare moments were spent volunteering to help with my professors or in the lab working on procedures. You don't get to be as brilliant as I am by not working for it."

Susan dipped a French fry in ketchup and smiled again. "That doesn't surprise me in the least," she replied before popping the fry in her mouth. "You're a classic workaholic. Balance in life is definitely not your forte."

Robert didn't take offense at Susan's words. She was always candid, which he found wonderfully refreshing. "Who needs balance when you have glory?" He grinned as she took a large bite of her cheeseburger and ended up with mustard on her nose. That was another thing he liked about her: she had a healthy appetite and wasn't afraid to show it in front of him. Normally he'd have teased a woman mercilessly for it, knowing she'd be self-conscious about it, but Susan wasn't most women. She was special. She was his friend.

Susan's smile turned to a concerned frown. "If you don't have balance in your life, you'll have a heart attack some day and then what good will you be? There's no glory when people are working on you to save your life. Believe me, I've helped heart attack patients. They're completely helpless. Nothing at all glorious about it."

Robert smiled and set down his sandwich. "Why Susan, I didn't know you cared so much."

"Well I do," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "You need to take the time to have some fun with life too. I mean, what do you do when you go on vacation?"

"I don't usually go on vacation."

"Exactly! You should. And you should go somewhere warm and sunny and beautiful and do absolutely nothing for at least a week. It's healthy."

Robert thought about that for a minute. He loved the idea of going to far-off places for vacation, but didn't want to go alone. These were the rare moments he wished he was married, or at least had a girlfriend. Somebody to go on vacation with. He took another bite of his sandwich before responding. "Vacations are for the weak," he declared emphatically, ending the conversation.

"Don't you do anything for fun outside of work? Besides hanging out with Gretel?"

"In the winter I like to join in with the Polar Bear club," he said and when he saw her look of confusion, he went into more detail. "It's a group of people who get together when it's cold out and go swimming outdoors. Like in lakes." He laughed to see the look of horror on Susan's face. "Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it. It's a lot of fun. Challenging. Invigorating."

Susan smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I can think of a lot more activities that are nice and warm, are indoors, and are just as invigorating," she replied with a wink. "I'd much rather partake in _those_, thank you very much."

"Oh really? Well, I will agree those are terribly fun and invigorating as well," Robert said flirtatiously. "In fact, I try to engage in those after a plunge, just to warm up again."

They continued in this vein for the rest of their meal. Both Robert and Susan had decided at the start of their friendship that it was perfectly natural and acceptable for their friendship to have a constant flirtatious tone to it. They flirted shamelessly with one another and seemed to enjoy every minute of it. People observing them often wondered if they were dating.

Robert liked the flirtatious nature of their friendship, finding it what he'd always hoped for with Elizabeth, but had never gotten from her. It was too late for her now anyway, what with her being married to Mark Green now. He knew how Susan felt about him too, and actually felt it was something that acted as an unspoken bond between them. At first he wondered if it was a case of "if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with," as the song went, but had quickly realized that was not the case. He enjoyed being Susan's friend on its own merits and she had the aforementioned scenario with John Carter. Robert knew that wasn't going to last long, but was curious to see who would be the one to call it off first, or if it would be mutually decided.

He would be lying to himself if he wasn't he hadn't contemplated a romantic relationship with Susan. He'd thought about it right after Christmas when she'd showed him such selfless kindness. He always contemplated a romantic relationship with any woman who showed him kindness, since those occurrences were so few and far between. Susan was a lot of fun to be around and he'd wager to bet that she'd make a wonderful lover, but he knew she wasn't in the market for anything too lasting at the moment. He adored her, but she was a bit flighty for his tastes. If he was ever going to get involved with a woman, he wanted it to be serious, long-term. He didn't see Susan as the marrying type, which he supposed didn't really matter, though, because he didn't see himself as the marrying type either.

(SCENE)

February was proving to be a brutally cold month in Chicago. Robert made sure to tease Susan at every possible opportunity for bundling up every time they went outside. "You look like a sumo wrestler," he cackled as she tried to walk outside to the roach coach with him for coffee.

"I can't help it! I was in the desert for too long!" she cried, defending herself.

"You'd never make it in the Polar Bear club," Robert declared, holding out a cup of coffee to her. "Here, drink, you'll warm up."

Susan drank the scalding hot coffee without complaint as they walked back inside the hospital. "Much better," she sighed when they were standing at the admit desk.

"Glad to hear it," Robert replied while opening up a package of M&M's and pouring some into her outstretched hand. "Be careful not to eat too many green ones," he joked, referring to the myth about the color green having an effect on a person's libido.

"Aw, but the green ones are my favorite," Susan replied before popping two green candies in her mouth and winking at him.

Dr. Carter walked over just then and looked at them while they ate and laughed. "What's so funny?" he asked casually before glancing at Robert suspiciously.

Robert looked at Susan momentarily before responding, "Oh nothing, just getting her ready for you."

Susan shrieked and hit Robert on the arm. "I can't believe you just said that! That is terrible!"

"Oh you love it, don't deny it," Robert said before handing her the rest of the green M&M's and walking away. The last thing he saw out of the corner of his eye was Dr. Carter scowling at Susan as she tried to wave off whatever he was saying. Robert wondered again how long things would last between those two.

(SCENE)

It was Valentine's Day and Robert was driving to an all-day medical conference he had no real interest in attending, but he had no choice as Chief of Staff, but to go. It was not his idea of a wonderful Valentine's Day, though it wasn't as if he had anybody to celebrate the day with anyway. At least an all-day conference was an acceptable excuse for not having a Valentine or plans to celebrate.

As he finished parking his car and got out to make his way into the hotel where the conference was taking place, he was startled to hear a familiar, excited voice call his name. "Robert! I'm so glad I won't be the only one here!" He turned and saw Susan running up to him. When she was close enough, she entwined her arm through his and squeezed it in greeting. "I was sure I'd be the only one here today, but now we can both represent County!"

"How did you get roped into this?" Robert asked, grinning at the prospect of a much more interesting day now that Susan was there.

"Weaver wanted someone from the ER to attend, but then conveniently decided she was too important to the department to go herself. So she appointed me instead. Apparently I'm expendable." Susan rolled her eyes and squeezed Robert's arm again. "This might actually be a tolerable day with you here."

Robert couldn't remember any other time in his life when somebody had expressed joy over his presence. It made his heart swell with happiness, though he did his best not to show it. "It will be nice to have a familiar face nearby," he finally admitted.

When they made it to the conference hall, he helped her take off all the layers of outerwear she had put on to stay warm outside. He hung his coat next to hers before they walked around to look for a good place to sit. They chose a table near the back so that nobody would be too likely to call on them to speak. Several other people from nearby hospitals joined them and they all began to talk before the conference began.

"Well, well, if it isn't 'Rocket' Romano in the flesh," a dark-haired man said from the end of their table. "I never thought I'd get the honor of sitting at your table." Robert watched as the tall man stood up and walked over to him. "I'm Eddie Dorset, from Northwestern," he introduced himself, holding his hand out and flashing him a large, toothy grin.

"Oh, 'Fast Eddie'," Robert replied, shaking the man's hand. "Your reputation precedes you." He looked at the taller, handsome man and thought about the brashness and ego "Fast Eddie" was known for. Dorset looked incredibly smug and Robert instantly disliked him. And when Dorset introduced himself to Susan and flirted shamelessly with her, he liked him even less.

Susan appeared to enjoy Dorset's attention, and Robert was thankful when the conference began and Dorset took his seat at the far end of the table, away from them. He was even more thankful when the conference proved to be interesting and managed to keep his attention.

When they stopped for a lunch break, Robert quickly led Susan to the hotel restaurant to make sure Dorset stayed away from them. He insisted on treating Susan to lunch. "I was just going to grab a hotdog," she commented while perusing the menu. "What are you going to get?"

Robert closed his menu. "The steak sandwich here is excellent," he declared. "Definitely that."

Susan closed her menu and set it on top of his. "Then that's what I'll get too," she replied.

While waiting for their food, they discussed the fact that it was Valentine's Day. "Are you and Carter doing anything special tonight?" Robert asked casually.

"He works tonight, so I'll probably just go home and take a bubble bath or something," Susan replied.

Robert grinned and wriggled his eyebrows. "You in a bubble bath, huh? I like the sound of that…"

Susan laughed for a minute before taking a sip of water. "How about you? Do you have a hot date tonight?"

"Only if you count hanging out with Gretel as a hot date," Robert said honestly. Normally he'd never admit to anything like that, but there was something about Susan that made it easy for him to open himself up to her. "Who knows, maybe I'll come over and join you in that bubble bath."

Susan laughed again. "I'm trying to envision you surrounded in bubbles. I can't quite see it…"

"So you're picturing me naked…" Robert joked as the server arrived with their food. "I seem to have that affect on the ladies. You're not alone." Susan continued to laugh as the server looked incredulously at him before hurrying away from their table. "Another satisfied customer," he commented before picking up his sandwich.

"Oh, you're right, this sandwich is divine," Susan said after tasting hers. "You have wonderful taste in food."

They spent the rest of the meal chatting amiably about nothing in particular. They enjoyed every minute of it.

When they returned to the conference, Robert thought about what he wanted to do that evening. He wasn't really the bubble bath type, but knew that it would be pathetic of him not to do anything at all.

He was still thinking about it when the conference ended and Dorset tried to make eye contact with Susan. "Are you busy tonight?" he heard Dorset ask her.

Robert walked over to Susan and frowned at Dorset. "Actually, I was going to take Susan out for a night on the town," he heard himself blurt out. "She's my Valentine."

Susan turned from Dorset and looked at Robert with wide eyes. She was clearly caught off-guard, and he wondered how she would react. After a couple seconds, she smiled and turned back to Dorset. "Apparently I have a date," she replied. "Sorry, maybe some other time." She turned and smiled at Robert before linking arms with him as she had earlier this morning. "So, where are you taking me tonight?" she asked as they began to walk over to the coat-check station.

"Wherever you want," he replied as they put on their coats and walked outside to the parking garage. "Did you drive?"

"No, I took the El."

"Perfect, we'll take my car then." After they were in the car and Robert had pulled out of the parking garage, he glanced at her. "So? Where do you want to go on our date?"

Susan was quiet for a moment before turning to look at him. "If this is a proper date, then you choose where we go. I mean, since you'll be paying, right?"

"Of course," he replied, trying to think of where to take her. After a minute, he switched on his blinker and turned left at the end of the block. "All right, we'll have to see if there's any way to get in, but I'm going to try…I'm sure it's been booked for months, but maybe there's been a cancellation."

"Where are we going?"

"Tru."

"Oh Robert! There's no way we'll get in there! I've always wanted to go there. It'll cost a fortune though."

"Don't worry, it's my treat." Robert drove in silence for a moment before speaking again. "When I take a woman on a date, I pay for everything, and I don't care about the cost. Call me old-fashioned, but that's who I am."

Susan smiled and blushed slightly before looking out the window. "You'd better be careful, Robert, or you might make me fall in love with you," she murmured.

It was Robert's turn to flush. His last-minute, silly Valentine date with Susan suddenly felt more like a real date now. What would happen with their friendship if they started to make it more than just a friendship? It would probably never work out between them, and then he'd lose her as a friend. But he wasn't sure he wanted to be lonely anymore. If she was interested in more, didn't he owe it to himself and to her to go for it?

As they arrived at the restaurant, he abandoned those thoughts and focused on finding a parking spot. "I'll run inside and see if there are any openings. You stay here. I'll run out and get you if we get in," he instructed as he parked the car.

He left Susan in the car while he ran into the restaurant. Unfortunately they were booked all night and any cancellations had already been filled. He returned to the car a few minutes later feeling defeated. "Well, I guess it wasn't meant to be tonight," he announced sadly as he turned on the car.

"Oh, that's too bad," Susan replied, reaching over to pat his arm sympathetically. "Well, what's plan B?"

"Everything's booked, I'm sure," Robert said, feeling upset that he wasn't going to be able to dazzled Susan after he'd promised her an amazing evening.

"Well, we could always do pizza and beer. It's a good standby."

"That's hardly impressive…"

"I don't mind, really," Susan said, turning to look at him with a smile on her face. "Let's pick up the food and take it back to your place. We could watch a movie or something."

Robert grumbled for a moment before sighing. "All right," he agreed grudgingly. "Just don't be upset if this is the worst Valentine's Day ever."

"Until twenty minutes ago, I had no plans at all. _Anything_ we do will be an improvement."

Robert drove to a pizza parlor near his house and they ordered a large pepperoni and sausage and a twelve-pack of beer to take to his home.

When they got to his house, they brought the provisions into the kitchen and sat at the kitchen table, eating the pizza right out of the box. Within minutes they were laughing and talking about the day. They again discussed what they'd be doing if they weren't spending the evening together. "I'd have been here, with Gretel, probably eating take-out," Robert confessed. "Not too different from this, only the company is much more interesting and pretty to look at…"

Susan smiled and looked down at her hands for a moment. "Well, I'd probably be at home, watching whatever's on Lifetime and eating a carton of ice cream," she replied a minute later before opening another can of beer and taking a drink. "This is a much better alternative. And the company is much more interesting and pretty to look at…" She smiled again and looked at Robert.

Robert took a large sip of his beer, and tried not to let himself jump to any conclusions. She was probably just being polite. "It's too bad Carter has to work or you would be spending the night with him instead of me," he finally said, and after a few seconds, he realized what he'd just implied and looked over to see Susan looking at him with wide eyes. "Well, you know what I mean…" He drank the rest of his beer to keep himself from saying anything else he might regret.

Susan started to laugh nervously and set her pizza crust down. "I don't think I can eat another bite," she declared before standing up and turning to look down at him. "I thought we were going to watch a movie…"

Robert picked up his beer and another slice of pizza and led her into the living room. They looked through his DVD library and settled on Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. "I love these movies," he commented as they got settled on the couch.

"Me too, Indy is so sexy," Susan replied in agreement. She placed a blanket on her lap and sipped her beer as the movie started. Robert sat next to her and grabbed part of the blanket to cover his lap too. As the movie played, Susan moved closer and closer to him until she was pressed against his side. She wrapped her arm around his and rested her head on his shoulder.

Robert leaned forward to set his beer down on the coffee table, and missed the first time, but managed to catch it before it fell on the carpeted floor. He tried harder the second time and made contact with the table before letting go of the can. "Stay," he commanded before sitting back up again. Susan giggled before doing the same thing with her can. When she was once again sitting against him, pressing her body as close to his as she could, Robert came to a conclusion. "I think we're buzzed."

Susan giggled again and nodded her head. "We did drink almost all of the beer after all…" she replied in agreement. "But don't worry, I have excellent control of myself." She went back to snuggling with him and watching the movie.

Robert's mind was growing a little fuzzy, but he wasn't sure how he felt about this. Did Susan think he was some snuggly friend she could cuddle with when her boyfriend wasn't available? Or was she getting close to him because she honestly wanted to be closer to him? He wasn't interested in being a surrogate lover.

He kept his thoughts to himself, though, and remained where he was, allowing Susan to cuddle with him. When the movie reached the scene with Elsa and Indy making out in the hotel, Susan leaned over and bit Robert's earlobe, mimicking what was happening on the screen. He jerked away, startled, and looked over to see her grinning at him. She was giggling again. All good sense abandoned him at that moment, and he lunged at her. They were soon embroiled on the couch much the way the two characters in the movie were at that moment.

Susan was a good kisser, he decided. A great kisser, really. And she was clearly willing to do more than just kiss, if the way she was using her hands was any indication. She had managed to take his shirt off, somehow, just as Robert had finished unbuttoning her blouse and slipped his hands around her back to undo her bra. His vision became a little unfocused just then, and he pulled away from her to take a deep breath. Susan sat up and ran her hands through the hair on his chest, causing him to shiver at her touch. "What's the matter? Why'd you stop?" she asked, leaning over and pressing her lips to his.

Robert wrapped an arm around her waist and held her close, returning the kiss for a minute before pulling away again. "What are we doing?" he asked, trying to catch his breath. He frowned slightly and his look turned accusatory. "I'm not him."

"What do you mean? Who?" Susan asked, looking confused before leaning over to kiss his neck.

"Whoever you're thinking about right now," Robert said as she gave him what was sure to be an impressive hickey. "Carter maybe? Green…"

Susan stopped at that name and pulled away from him. She looked him in the eyes and opened her mouth to speak before closing it again. "And I'm not Corday," she finally retorted accusingly before sitting up and trying to button her blouse again. She didn't have much luck with the buttons and abandoned her task. "Don't tell me you don't still pine away for her…"

Robert took a deep breath and sat up. He folded his arms and looked at the floor for a minute, trying to compose himself. Finally, he unfolded his arms and stood up, swaying for a moment as he did. He grabbed the DVD remote and turned off the movie. "I don't think we should discuss this tonight," he said firmly. "We've both had too much to drink, clearly. We aren't thinking straight and should go to bed and sleep this off before we say or do anything we'll really regret. Maybe we'll both forget about this by morning."

Susan looked around, confused. "You want me to sleep with you?" she asked.

"I have a spare room. You can sleep there," Robert offered. "Neither of us is sober enough to drive tonight."

Susan nodded her head and took his hand when he held it out to help her to her feet. She didn't let go as they started walking to the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. Neither was too steady on their feet and they kept bumping into one another on the way up.

After the third time Susan bumped into him, Robert stopped walking and grabbed her other hand. Without thinking, he pushed her against the wall and pressed his lips to hers. Soon they were once again tearing at each other's clothes. "What are we doing?" Susan gasped as Robert let his hands wander. She reached her hands up and ran her fingertips over his scalp, causing him to moan loudly and pull away from the hollow of her neck that he'd been kissing.

"About to make a huge mistake, probably," he replied before leaning in to kiss her again. Slowly, they began to make their way up the stairs again and made it to the top before stopping to kiss for a few minutes. They slowly made their way down the hall, stopping to kiss every few paces.

Finally, they made it to the spare room. Robert opened the door and ushered Susan inside, following behind her and closing the door behind him. They stared in silence at the queen-size bed looming in front of them. "I should go and let you get some sleep," Robert said, looking at Susan, and then back at the bed.

"Yeah, I should probably get some sleep," Susan said, glancing over at Robert. She sat down on the end of the bed and looked up at him. "Well, aren't you going to kiss me goodnight?" she asked coyly.

Robert didn't need any more invitation, and quickly pounced on her. He pressed her down onto the bed and kissed her as she'd requested. After he'd successfully undone Susan's bra, he kissed her again. "We really should stop," he murmured in her ear.

"We probably will regret it if we go any further," Susan replied as she pulled the belt out of the loopholes of his jeans.

"Ok, I'm going to stop now," Robert said as he threw Susan's bra on the floor and began trying to unbutton her pants, though with little success as his hand-eye coordination wasn't at its best at the moment.

"Ok, I will too," she said before reaching out wrapping her arms around his shoulders. She pulled him down to kiss him again.

"Good, just as long as we're agreed that we aren't going to go any further tonight."

They continued to kiss one another and rid each other of their remaining clothes. They took a few moments to get under the bed sheets before throwing themselves into one another's arms again.

Robert couldn't believe what was happening. He knew it was wrong, but his body had been starved for attention and affection for so long it didn't care. As he allowed his body to override his most of his brain, he let a small part of it dwell on thoughts about their earlier exchange. Was he just substituting Susan for Elizabeth? This is what he'd always wanted to have with Elizabeth, but she'd never been interested. Far from it, really. Did he have feelings for Susan as well? Did it matter if she really was imagining Mark Green in his place? There was a physical resemblance between himself and the other man, after all. His mind couldn't come up with any answers, though. Everything was fuzzy at the moment.

The only conclusion he could come to, was that he'd hate himself if these were the circumstances in which he slept with Susan for the first time. But just before he had to make that last-minute decision of whether or not to go through with it, Susan gave him an out by falling asleep in the middle of kissing him. Apparently the beer was stronger than her desires.

Robert breathed a sigh of relief and turned Susan onto her side to sleep off the effects of the alcohol. He wrapped the bed sheets tightly around her, grabbed his clothes, and slipped out the door as quickly as he could.

Gretel was sitting outside in the hall and looked curiously at her disheveled master. "What are you looking at?" Robert said, glancing down for a moment before covering himself up. He didn't know why he suddenly felt self-conscious in front of his dog who had seen him naked before, but he did.

As he walked down the hall to his room, the realization of how far he'd gotten with Susan and what they'd almost done, hit him. He had probably just thrown away the one friendship that actually meant something to him. Susan would probably never want to see him again after this. And what would it be like in the morning when they got up together and had to face each other? He still had to drive her to work too.

As Robert started the shower in the master bathroom, he realized that this was why he preferred casual sex with women he didn't work with. Take a pretty woman out for drinks and dinner, or off for a weekend getaway somewhere, slake his lust, and then be done with it. He hated entanglements of any kind, and romantic ones were the worst. It was shallow of him, and made the act of lovemaking hollow and meaningless, but there were far less awkward moments involved as well. Why did life and love have to be so complicated?

It took a very long, very cold shower before Robert was able to fall asleep that night.

Reference: "Love the One You're With", song written by Stephen Stills, performed by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Susan woke up naked, in an unfamiliar bed, and felt very disoriented. Her splitting headache didn't help much either. With a lot of effort, she managed to sit up in the bed, moaning all the while. As she looked at the floor and saw her clothes scattered all around, the memory of the previous night's activities came back to her.

She and Robert hadn't…had they? She didn't remember sex taking place, but it was possible, she supposed. All she recalled was a lot of kissing, groping, and the removing of clothes. Her face flushed at the memory. Robert had been drunk too, of course, but she had very much enjoyed what they'd done.

As she slowly stood up and walked to the bathroom to take a shower, she thought about the discussion they'd had downstairs. Was she substituting Robert and Carter for Mark? She was well aware that Mark had moved on after she'd left, and he was no longer available or interested. She had to move on with her own life as well. Carter was a flash in the pan. He was fun to be around, but she knew the relationship wasn't meant to last.

While she stepped into the steaming hot shower, she felt a pang of regret about the previous night. Not because of what she and Robert had done, but because of what they _hadn't_ done. Robert was a great friend, and now she knew what an amazing kisser he was. He had strong hands and a powerful, muscular body. She wished she'd gotten to enjoy it to its fullest potential. Especially since this had probably ruined their friendship anyway; it would have been nice to have gotten as much out of it as she could have before destroying the relationship.

Robert was in the kitchen, dressed for work by the time she arrived. He'd made coffee and there was a mug waiting for her on the kitchen counter by the coffee pot. "Good morning," he said quietly as she walked over to pour coffee into the mug. "Would you like something to eat?"

Susan turned to look at Robert and smiled shyly. "Cereal?" she asked politely.

Robert nodded his head and prepared a bowl of Cheerios for her. He made a bowl for himself and sat down across from her at the table. She ate in silence for a minute before glancing at him again. Her heart pounded and she felt breathless suddenly as she watched him eat. "Uh…" she stammered. "Robert, about last night…I want to apologize for my behavior. All of this was entirely my fault. It was completely inappropriate and I was way out of line."

She watched as he set his spoon down and looked into her eyes. "There's nothing to apologize for," he declared firmly. "We both participated last night and neither of us made much of an effort to stop."

Susan looked at him again and could feel his eyes burning into her soul. How did he do that? He could be so intense sometimes. Was he angry with her even though he said there was nothing to apologize for? "Still, I should have behaved myself," she finally murmured before returning to her cereal.

Robert started eating again as well. "Let's not speak of it anymore," he said after sipping his coffee. "I'm no good with emotional entanglements. Why don't we just do our best to pretend it never happened? That way we can both try to maintain our dignity and maybe we can manage to stay friends as well."

Susan felt relieved to hear this. He was still interested in being friends with her. Part of her felt unsettled, however. She didn't necessarily want to pretend it had never happened. She had really enjoyed herself and hoped he had too. "I'd like to stay friends," she replied. "But I don't think I can just forget about last night. I can't answer for you, but I actually really liked it. I'm just sorry I fell asleep before the real fun began."

Robert looked at her with wide eyes. Perhaps he wasn't used to bold and liberated women. Without saying a word, he leaned across the table, wrapped a hand around the back of her head, and drew her into an intense kiss that took her breath away.

Susan wrapped her arms around his shoulders and returned the kiss. After a minute, their tongues brushed against one another before gently entwining. She felt weightless and lightheaded as Robert ran his fingers through her hair and brushed her cheeks with his fingertips.

They kissed for several minutes before he pulled away. They were both breathless for a minute as they composed themselves. Finally, Robert stood up and walked away from the table. "We'd better leave now or we'll be late for work," he said before clearing his throat and walking to the garage.

Susan followed behind him, getting into the car after he unlocked her door. "Robert, we can't ignore this," she said as he pulled out of the garage and out onto the street. "We have to talk about this."

"You know, that's what's wrong with women," Robert said, keeping his eyes on the road. "Always wanting to talk about their feelings. Or other people's feelings. It's such a pointless topic."

"But something's going on with us," she said firmly. "Something more than just friendship."

"I've only really known you since Christmas, how could I be in love with you?" Robert muttered as he pulled to a stop at a red light. "Is that what you're trying to say? Are you trying to accuse me of being in love with you? Because it's not…" he trailed off and went back to paying attention to driving as the light turned green again.

Susan blushed and looked out the window. "I think we just need to admit to ourselves that yes, I was in love with Mark and I thought I might still have feelings for him. And yes, you have been madly in love with Elizabeth since the day you met her. But it didn't work out for either of us. They moved on without us. It's time we moved on as well." She stopped to catch her breath for a moment before continuing. "I like you a lot, Robert. I think you're a wonderful man. You're kind, even though you don't want people to know it. You're funny, supportive, caring, and handsome too! You would make any woman lucky to have you if you opened yourself up to it." Robert remained silent, driving as fast as he could to work. "You aren't used to being complimented, are you?"

"Compliments from women tend to be few and far between for me," he replied honestly.

"Why don't you try harder? Robert, I wasn't joking. You are a wonderful catch! Why won't you let somebody catch you? Why not me?"

"Because I've done the love thing before and it only leads to pain and horrors and destruction. It's just better to steer clear of love and focus on my career. It's what I'm best at."

"But you could have both!" Susan turned to look at him. "You have to admit it, if only to yourself: after last night, and that kiss this morning, there's something more than just being friends going on between us."

"Maybe I make out with all my friends," Robert retorted. "You don't know…And besides, what does it even matter? You're dating Carter now. Aren't you worried about cheating on him?"

Susan did feel a pang of guilt for cheating on Carter. He didn't deserve it. "Well, I'm not sure where things are going with Carter and me…" she admitted.

"Oh! So you thought you'd test drive me before making a final decision. We're you satisfied enough?"

Susan looked at Robert and saw his lips were thin and drawn into a frown, and his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. This wasn't a joke, he was seriously offended, she could tell. "Robert, I…this wasn't like that. I don't know what to say…I…" She could tell that he was very well-practiced with this tactic. Pushing people away as soon as he started to get close to them in order to keep from being hurt later on. As soon as something got too complicated, he tried to get control of it. But calling him on it would be the worst thing she could do. It was best to leave him alone to cool off for a while.

After what felt like an eternity, Robert pulled his car into the parking garage of the hospital. Susan was relieved to get out of the car and away from him for a while. They needed to be apart from each other to sort out their feelings. "Robert, I'm sorry," she said quietly before heading to the elevator down to the ER. He didn't respond as she walked away from him.

By the time she was downstairs, she knew things would never be the same again for Robert and herself.

(SCENE)

Over the next week, Susan barely saw Robert, and when she did, he was very professional towards her. He came into the ER for surgical consults, and helped her with anything she needed, but didn't communicate with her beyond that. Every time she tried to corner him or approach him beyond a surgical consult, he would make a hasty retreat or ignore her completely. She was growing more and more upset over the gulf growing between them, and wished he'd stop pushing her away so they could talk about it, but she realized Robert just wasn't ready for it yet.

At the same time, Carter was acting more and more jealous that she was distracted. She had never seen this side of him when she was at County years before and he'd been a med student, but apparently it was something he'd grown into during her absence. She wasn't sure she liked this side of him at all. He had a way of making her feel like she was cheap and that he was doing her a favor for being with her. She definitely didn't need to be with a man who had an attitude like that.

In the middle of fighting with Carter and anguishing over her badly damaged friendship with Robert, what was left of Susan's life began to crumble around her when she stumbled across Mark Greene's secret.

What do you say to a man who is dying? A man you'd loved, but then run away from? How did you say all the unspoken things you'd wanted to say, knowing that somehow, he already knew them, because they were exactly the same things he felt about you. Mark, her friend, a man she loved, a man she'd taken for granted, was going to be leaving the world far too soon, and she was helpless to stop it.

One night after work, Susan helped Mark out at his home, as he was exhausted and unable to care for himself. Elizabeth had recently moved out with their daughter Ella, and Mark needed help. Susan reluctantly stepped in to take her place, at least temporarily. As she stood in his kitchen, heating soup on the stove, and helping to feed him in his living room, she contemplated all of this. All thoughts of Carter and Robert flew away from her mind, and her entire being was once again focused on Mark. She tried not to let her heartbreak show on her face, but she knew he'd know it was there just the same.

That night, she sat on the sofa, cradling Mark's head on her lap while he slept. She remained awake, thinking of the road not travelled, and choices not made, and years lost that could never be returned. The next morning, she returned to work as the bearer of a terrible secret.

Having to face Carter's angry accusations, and see Elizabeth Corday, who was clueless over what was happening to her own husband, was one of the hardest things, she'd ever had to do. To carry on as though nothing was changed was almost more than she could handle. She wished she could turn to Robert for comfort and support but he wasn't speaking to her anymore. She felt completely alone, and hated it.

(SCENE)

Robert was confused about his feelings for Susan, and hated that feeling more than anything else. He felt he was being disloyal to Lizzie, who had never loved him, and never would. He knew this, but couldn't help feeling that way. He'd loved her every day for the past four years. He had devoted his life to loving Elizabeth, even though it was unrequited. Could he just abandon it so quickly? He was pathetic, and knew it, and he was hurting Susan which made it all that much more horrible.

He knew Susan was upset because he could see it on her face every time he avoided her. The times he brushed her off after a surgical consult or interrupted her midsentence by walking away always left her dejected. But it was all he could do to keep himself from losing complete control. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her, to kiss her tenderly, to take her to his home and make passionate love to her. Because he knew now that she thrived on passion, something that terrified and fascinated him. He wanted that passion in his own life. He'd wanted it with Lizzie but she'd always withheld it from him. Susan had given it to him freely, so why was he punishing her for it?

Robert did his best to ignore Susan, yet he always had her on his radar. He knew things were getting worse for her and Carter. Carter's jealous, petty side was a pathetic thing to see, really, and she would be much better off without him in her love life.

He also knew, a couple weeks later, that something was happening between her and Mark Green. He could see it in their body language and the hushed whispers he saw them engage in. Had she and Mark reconnected now that Elizabeth had separated from him? If so, Robert had truly lost his chance with her. Susan loved him the same way he loved Elizabeth. She would be a fool to let such an opportunity pass her by a second time.

Robert sat in his office one afternoon, a few weeks after the Valentine's night incident, hating Mark Green. He'd lost two women to that man. What did Mark have that he didn't? He couldn't recall a time when Mark hadn't had either a wife or a girlfriend. Was Robert so undesirable? Sure he wasn't quite as tall as Green, but they were both just as follicly-challenged, so it couldn't be that…It must be the personality. Maybe women liked men who were gentle and docile, but that wasn't him. He was intense and fiery and that was something he couldn't change. And neither did he want to. Perhaps he'd been too fiery for Elizabeth, though Susan seemed to have appreciated his intensity. Elizabeth was intense too. Maybe it was too much competition. Susan was gentler, and maybe that had blended better with his personality.

Suddenly Robert laughed to himself in the silence and privacy of his office. Elizabeth and Mark, intense and gentle, the same as himself and Susan. It was a perfect pairing…And later that afternoon, he'd had to remember that when he ran into Elizabeth in the surgical lounge and had to convince her to return to Mark, as his tumor had returned, and she'd only just now found out.

His heart ached to see the pain and anguish on Elizabeth's face. He wanted to hold her close, kiss her, and tell her he'd make everything alright and that she and her daughter wouldn't feel sad ever again. But instead, he asked Elizabeth if she still considered herself to be Mark's wife. And then he'd reminded her of her wedding vow she'd made to Mark. Robert remembered it; he'd been at the ceremony, after all. The words he spoke to Elizabeth, coaxing her to return to her duty as Mark's wife, tasted like poison in his mouth. He hated himself for saying them, but he knew that he could have done nothing else.

That night, Robert took a long, hot shower, trying to wash away the memories of the day. He wasn't successful. He wrapped himself in his robe afterwards and walked down to his study to read for a while when he'd finished. His thoughts turned to Susan and he had the sudden realization that she must have known. All the hushed whisperings and furtive glances between Mark and herself, were because of this. She'd kept this a secret from everybody for a couple weeks now. She and Carter had finally, thankfully, broken up during this time, and still she'd not revealed to anybody Green's secret. This must have been a very difficult time for her, yet she was had gotten through it somehow. She was the very embodiment of strength and loyalty.

He was startled out of his thoughts when he heard a knock on his front door. He set the book he hadn't been reading down, and walked out to see who was there. For some strange reason, he wasn't shocked or dismayed to see Susan standing on his front porch. Her pain was so palpable that he could reach out and touch it if he'd wanted to. This time he didn't run away from her or ignore her. He stepped aside silently and allowed Susan to walk into his house. Both of them knew exactly what would happen that night.

Neither said a word as Robert took Susan by the hand and led her upstairs to his bedroom.

(SCENE)

The next morning, Susan woke up to feel strong arms holding her around the waist. She smiled and buried her head against Robert's chest, enjoying the feeling of the coarse hair scratching against her cheek. Her legs were still entwined with his, from when they'd fallen asleep in one another's embrace the night before. She had needed the comfort that Robert had provided, as well as the passion that had helped wake her soul up from the sadness she'd been experiencing lately.

"Good morning," Robert greeted her quietly, squeezing her gently. "How are you this morning?"

She thought about it for a moment before smiling and kissing him. "So relaxed," she finally replied after pulling away from him.

Robert grinned and pulled her more tightly against himself. "You were pretty tense when we started last night," he commented, then kissed her forehead. "You definitely seem more loosened up now."

"I'm glad I managed to stay awake this time around," she replied before pushing herself up and moving to straddle his hips. "I definitely missed out."

Robert moved his hands under his head, laced his fingers, and propped himself up on his pillow to watch the show Susan put on for him. They'd ended up having a lot of fun the night before, and this morning was proving to start off the same way.

When they'd finished, and Susan had collapsed on top of him, he ran his fingertips up and down her smooth back. "Now I think I know why they call you 'Rocket'," she commented breathlessly. They both began to laugh at that. Robert relished in the thought of being able to please Susan so much. It boosted his ego and made him feel very masculine. She was clearly very good for him. And yet, in spite of his best effort not to, he found his mind wandering to Elizabeth for a moment. He had the feeling that he'd always be trying to prove himself to her if they'd ever had a sexual relationship. He'd always feel slightly unworthy of her. That was not the basis of a healthy, loving relationship, in his opinion. Susan felt very much his equal. She wasn't judgmental or condescending and helped him feel at ease. He felt he could truly be himself around her. He knew she'd been thinking about Mark the night before, but he hadn't cared, because thoughts of Elizabeth had come to him at several points as well. Yet each time, he'd decided that Susan was the superior choice. Was he really starting to get over Lizzie, finally?

Susan had thought of Mark occasionally while she and Robert had been making love. Somehow Mark hadn't had the hold over her that she had assumed he would have had. Maybe she had moved on from him more than she'd realized. He was still a dear friend, and she was terribly upset over his tumor, but it was clear to her now that she was no longer "in love" with Mark Green.

It was with much lighter hearts that Susan and Robert got ready for the day. They took a shower together, spending far too much time in there than was necessary. When Susan commented about wasting water, Robert scoffed lightly. "Bleeding-hearted liberal," he teased before pressing her against the wall and kissing her for several minutes.

"It's your water bill," Susan murmured in his ear while wrapping her leg around his.

Finally, they finished with the shower and dressed for the day. Susan was embarrassed that for a second time she'd be going in to work with him with the previous day's clothes on. "People will start to wonder," she commented as they walked into the kitchen for breakfast.

"You could always bring some clothes here for times when you stay over," Robert suggested casually.

Susan thought about that while starting the coffee. Was this going to be a real, true relationship? Were they "going out" officially now? Or was this just sex? Not that she minded if it was just sex, but she wouldn't mind it being more either.

Robert noticed her hesitation and set the bowls of cereal down on the table. "Are you having second thoughts?" he asked, fixing her with a steely gaze.

"I'm just curious where this is all heading," Susan replied honestly. "Am I your girlfriend now? You're still my boss and this is technically breaking the rules. So are we open about this at work or do we keep it a secret? Or is it just casual sex whenever one of us is lonely or bored?"

Robert hadn't thought about the fact that he was her boss. "Well first, I'd just like to ask you not to sue me for sexual harassment because I'm going to be spending all of my money on my water bill," he said, looking over to watch Susan laugh. "As for the rest…I suppose we should be discreet at work. So no throwing yourself at me at the admit desk or in the OR. And as for girlfriend…I don't know. Do you want me to be your boyfriend?"

Susan blushed and looked away for a moment. She'd just broken things off with Carter, which had not ended well, in her opinion. Was it too soon for her to move onto somebody else? Maybe taking some extra time before jumping into the next intense relationship would be a good idea. She looked at Robert and thought about that word "boyfriend". It just didn't suit him. It seemed too juvenile for him. He was a grown man; "boy" didn't work for him for some reason. "Lover". That was a much better word. It was definitely what he was. "You want to be my boyfriend?" she asked teasingly. "Robert Romano, my boooyfriend…"

Robert handed her a bowl of cereal and swatted playfully at her backside when she walked by him. "I'll be honest, I don't really know what I want," he said quietly as he started to eat his cereal. "All of this is happening so quickly, for both of us. You're still dealing with Green and I'm…Anyway, I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I have no idea what is going on or where we stand."

Susan smiled understandingly and reached out to pat his hand. "I know what you mean," she replied quietly. "I'm still trying to figure out what I want with my life right now. We'll just take it nice and slow. No pressure. We'll just see where this all leads."

Robert laced his fingers through hers and leaned in to kiss her. "Be careful now or you might make me fall in love with you," he murmured when they were done kissing. He thought of her words to him just a few weeks previously. It seemed as though they were both ready for love. Perhaps it was time to see where that could lead. So long as they moved slowly.

(SCENE)

Time flew by for Robert and Susan as they spent more and more days and nights together. While Susan didn't move into Robert's house, she did fill up one of his drawers with her own clothes for the nights she spent at his house. And even a few times, Robert stayed over at Susan's apartment for the night, just to change things up a little.

Robert liked staying over at Susan's, it felt adventurous to stay at a woman's house and wake up in a strange bed. She only had a double bed, so they had to be a little more careful so they didn't fall off like they did the first time they'd had sex at her place. Her apartment apparently had thin walls as well, for when they had ended up in a heap on her floor, the downstairs neighbor had knocked on the ceiling with a broom handle, letting them know that she had definitely heard what they'd been doing. They knew then that they would have to be as quiet as possible when they were at her place. The small bed did have one positive effect though—he did like how it caused them to snuggle much more closely when they were done.

One morning, after an active night together, Robert held Susan in his arms as they lay curled up in her bed. "Do you think anybody at work has a clue about us?" Susan asked, reaching up and running her finger along Robert's jaw line. "Did I ever tell you that I think you have the sexiest jaw in the world?"

Robert grabbed her hand, brought it over to his mouth and kissed the tips of her fingers. "Nobody's ever said I had a sexy jaw before," he chuckled. "And as for our coworkers…I don't think anybody knows. We've been very careful to be discreet there. Every time you've come to my office we've had a great excuse. And it's always when Brenda's at lunch so nobody would overhear us."

Susan smiled at the memory of Robert calling her up to his office yesterday to discuss an important issue, only to have ended up on his desk, not discussing anything, instead. They'd done that at least once a week in his office and nobody was any the wiser. "I do like the danger of it all," she commented, reaching her other hand out to caress his jaw. "Of course it's a bad idea, but just the thought of getting caught makes it so exciting…"

"Well we could try it with the door open next time if you want to really try to get caught…"

"I don't know about that…I mean, I'm pretty open to trying new things, but I don't know if I'm ready for public sex at work," Susan replied lightly before Robert grabbed both of her hands and pulled her down into the bed.

"Well, we can just work our way up to that," Robert said, pinning her arms down and kissing her. He took his time with Susan, enjoying every minute of it. It was times like that when he felt like nothing could go wrong. Everything was perfect.


	3. Chapter 3

Susan knew things were getting worse for Mark when he decided to walk away from his job at County to enjoy the last of his time free from the stress and troubles of working. She couldn't blame him. If she was dealing with a fatal illness, that's what she'd have done too. She just wished she'd had a chance to say goodbye to him before he'd left. She knew she wouldn't see him again in this life, but tried to focus on the happy memories she had of him.

When Robert heard that Mark Green had taken his older daughter to Hawaii, he knew things were grim. And when Elizabeth came to him a short time later saying she needed time off to join him, he knew it was nearing the end. He sent Elizabeth off with the promise of making an exception to pray for Mark. Though most wouldn't be able to tell, Robert considered himself a man of honor. And so, he followed through with his promise to her.

On his way home from work, he prayed. To who, he wasn't quite sure, but still, he prayed. Be with Elizabeth, help her through this. She's tough, but she's about to become a widow and a full-time working, single mother. She's going to need all the help she can get. And be with Ella and Rachel too, because nobody should have to grow up without a father. Robert concluded his prayer with a promise to help them as best he could, should the need arise.

He arrived at his house that night feeling as though he'd done his duty, but also feeling very sad. He went to bed alone, wishing Susan was around to be with him. She was off trying to find her sister in New York, though. Robert didn't sleep well that night.

(SCENE)

A few days later, Robert's day started like all the others. He was at work, in his office, then the OR, and then he was called down to the ER on a surgical consult. Something felt different there, and when he'd finished the consult and was making his way over to the doctor's lounge for coffee, he noticed something hanging on the bulletin board nearby that caught his eye. It was a letter from Mark Green, transcribed by Elizabeth, since Mark was no doubt unable to write on his own anymore. It was a touching, and at times, amusing letter. Mark was wishing everybody at County farewell and good luck in their lives.

There was a postscript, written in Elizabeth's handwriting. It made his heart fall to read it. It was over. Mark had died. No wonder the ER felt so off. He glanced over at the admit desk to see if Susan was there, but only saw Kerry Weaver looking at him. He left, not wanting to deal with her at the best of times, and not at all right now.

He was called down to the ER again late in the afternoon, for another consult. He found Susan's patient in need of help and together he and Susan formulated a treatment plan for her. The young girl who'd been injured in a car crash had, what they discovered to be, cancer. The X-ray for her other injury had luckily revealed it. The cancer was still new enough that it could be stopped with surgery and then chemo.

Susan seemed desperate for Robert to save the girl, and it became his mission at that moment, to do so. They shared a look of complete understanding before he wheeled the girl out of the ER and up to the OR. He needed to save this girl's life as though it would somehow negate Mark's death. He needed to do it for Susan, for Elizabeth, for himself, and of course for the girl herself. Giving _her_ life when a colleague had just lost his was vital to him now.

The operation had proved more difficult than he'd first suspected, and he and Shirley had been forced to pull a literal all-nighter. He'd been up to the challenge, however, and the girl had come out of it just fine. With chemo, he felt the girl had a complete chance at recovering.

Susan was waiting for him outside the OR when he came out to wheel the girl to Recovery the next morning. As Shirley took over wheeling the girl for him, the exhaustion hit Robert like a ton of bricks. He felt more tired than he had in a very long time. As he tried to wake himself up with cold water from a drinking fountain, Susan hounded him for an update. He had to tell her several times that he'd been successful and that the girl was going to be all right. Susan's well-being seemed to depend on the girl's outcome.

Robert wanted to take Susan in his arms and comfort her. She was distraught and he could tell Mark's death was hitting her very hard. He wasn't able to do anything in the hall, so he walked with her to his office where he held his arms out and wrapped her tightly in his embrace while she clung to him desperately. "Oh Robert, it hurts so much," she sobbed into his shoulder. "I didn't think it would hurt this much."

Robert didn't speak, but continued to rock Susan in his arms and ran his fingers up and down her back soothingly. He knew there were no words that could help right now. They remained like this for quite some time until she calmed down again. "I'm sorry I'm crying and blubbering," she said while dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

"Don't apologize," Robert replied. "There's nothing to apologize for." He looked concerned and reached out to caress her cheek. "This is a sad thing that happened." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently.

Susan hugged him again. "Thank you," she whispered. "I feel like I have nobody to talk to about this. Nobody quite understands, except you." She kissed him before pulling away again. "I don't want to go back out there, but they need me downstairs…"

"And my shift starts in a half hour and I'm starving," Robert replied. He was not looking forward to the twelve hour shift that awaited him. He walked out of his office with Susan and went to the cafeteria for breakfast.

It was a miracle that he didn't harm any patients that day, or cause an accident on his way home when his shift mercifully ended. After a hastily-eaten TV dinner and a little time playing with Gretel, he stumbled upstairs to bed. He didn't even have the energy to shower first, or even change out of his clothes. He only managed to get one shoe off before collapsing onto his bed, falling asleep before he could even get under the covers.

It wasn't until late the next morning that Robert stirred awake. He was disoriented for a minute. He could feel arms around him and looked down to see Susan curled up against him. She must have snuck in some time in the night after her shift ended, and had somehow managed to change him out of his clothes and into his pajamas, and settled the covers over him before falling asleep next to him. He wondered what time she'd arrived.

He looked down at her, sleeping peacefully against him, and smiled. His sleep had been very refreshing and he hoped she would wake up soon. Luckily for him, she did. "Morning sunshine," he said as she yawned and stretched her arms. "What time did you get here last night?"

"Two in the morning," Susan replied, reaching out to help Robert take his pajama top off. "I got off at midnight, but then I drove around for a while. I just needed some time to think, you know? When I got here, you looked so adorable on the bed, so dead to the world," she said before catching herself at that phrase and sighing. "Anyway, I put you to bed and you slept through the whole thing." She slipped out of her nightgown and sighed again as Robert settled in on top of her. They made love quite passionately and both felt quite revived by the time they'd finally finished, much later in the morning.

After a shower together, the two went downstairs to make breakfast. Robert made bacon and eggs while Susan set the table and made toast. Robert set the plate of cooked food on the table just as Susan set down glasses of orange juice. "So is it your day off too?" she asked while putting bacon and eggs on her plate.

Robert shook his head. "No, but I'm taking the day off anyway," he replied in between sips of juice. "One of the perks of being Chief of Staff…"

Susan smiled and handed him the plate of food. "I'm glad I'm off today, I really need it." Gretel walked over to her and looked so pathetic that Susan shook her head and held out a strip of bacon for her. Gretel took the food daintily and walked away to eat her treat. "I don't have to stay if you wanted to be alone today. Just let me know and I'll take off when I'm done eating."

Robert shook his head again. "I don't mind if you stay…" he said quietly. "I don't really want to be alone right now."

Susan nodded her head in agreement. "If I was alone right now, I'd probably be bawling my eyes out. I'm still so sad, but I'm tired of crying…"

Robert reached out and placed one of his hands on one of hers, squeezing it supportively. An image of Elizabeth strayed into his mind and at that moment he felt overwhelming pain which she was no doubt experiencing just then. He felt sad for both of the women he cared so much for.

(SCENE)

Robert saw Elizabeth later the next week when she flew back from Hawaii for Mark's funeral. Nearly everybody at the hospital was there, as well as some of their former colleagues, each there as a show of support. She looked forlorn and lost and utterly engulfed in her grief. He wanted more than anything to run over and wrap his arms around her, but he didn't. He stood quietly and respectfully through the service instead, and merely shook her hand before leaving. He did not attend the gathering at her house afterwards, but returned to the hospital to work for the rest of the day.

Elizabeth returned to England a short time later, taking her daughter with her. Robert hoped she would return not long after, once she'd finished up with her business affairs and worked through her grief. But she didn't. He wondered if he'd ever see her again. He'd never even gotten to say goodbye to her.

As time went on, his life became more entwined with Susan's. They spent more and more time together. Each night, after making love to Susan, he held her in his arms, enjoying the feel of her soft skin. He loved holding a woman in his arms, it was perhaps the greatest feeling there was. He loved his job; the high he got from an amazing save was wonderful. But if he had to choose between the two, he thought he'd choose the woman every time.

He squeezed Susan gently and looked down at her. He knew they were both thinking of and missing their lost loves. He knew it was all right, because they were the only people who felt this grief. They were the only people in the world right now who could help each other get through this time. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers; enjoying the rush he always got from kissing a beautiful woman.

(SCENE)

Susan slowly began to emerge from the crippling grief she was feeling over Mark's death. Having Robert back in her life seemed to be what was getting her through it. She loved Robert dearly and enjoyed every minute she spent with him. He was indeed a gifted lover and she considered herself lucky that their relationship was at the level it was currently. As they walked into the hospital one morning in late May, she looked at Robert and her heart fluttered. Could it be that she _was_ falling in love with him? He was so kind to her, and such a wonderful lover. She found him extremely attractive and often wondered why more women weren't clamoring after him.

"Well, have a good day," she said as they reached the elevator. "I'll try to stop by tonight after my shift."

"You'd better," Robert replied with a smile. "Or I'll have to call you into my office tomorrow for a spanking." They could speak openly since they were the only ones in the elevator.

"Oh, is that so? Well maybe I'll come over tonight _and_ stop by your office tomorrow."

"An even better plan…" Robert's eyes twinkled as he grinned at her.

They parted ways with smiles on their faces. Things were feeling a little more normal again. It had been far too long since normalcy and both enjoyed that feeling. Unfortunately for them both, the day would prove to change both of their lives forever.

(SCENE)

The moment Susan saw the Health Department people arrive with walkie-talkies, she wished she'd stayed home that day. If only she and Robert had taken the day off, none of the day's or night's events would have happened. At least not to them.

The day went from isolating patients and coworkers, to quarantining them, to evacuating the entire hospital. Kerry Weaver had been off until the afternoon and by the time she'd arrived, hadn't been allowed inside. Susan had been in charge that day and was forced to live out the nightmare from start to finish.

During the evacuation, everything became a blur. They were wheeling patients up to the roof to load them into helicopters. Kovac and Robert were there and they were all arguing over priority for their patients. The sound of the helicopters was so loud that she could barely hear anything else. Her back was turned when it happened, but she heard the sound of something loud landing on the ground. As she turned to look, the blood drained out of her face when she saw Robert, bleeding out, and minus an arm. She had wanted to scream, but her training kicked in and both she and Kovac had immediately jumped in to save both his life and his arm. She didn't want to think about what might happen if they didn't save Robert's life.

Susan had no time to cry as Robert was being wheeled back into the hospital for emergency surgery. She looked down at herself and saw that she was covered in his blood. It had soaked through her clothes and she could feel it on her skin. Her stomach clenched as the gorge rose in her throat, but she took several deep breaths to calm herself down again. There was an elderly patient who needed her assistance, so she threw herself into saving his life.

All her efforts were for naught, however, as she'd been unable to save him by herself. When the patient expired, she sat down where she was and her mind became hazy and overwhelmed with emotion. She didn't remember anything after that.

Susan had no idea how she had gotten home that night, but when she woke up the next morning, she found the clothes she'd worn the day before in the trash, and she had clearly taken a shower, for there were no more traces of Robert's blood on her skin. After breakfast she drove over to the hospital Robert had been transported to the night before after he'd been stabilized at County.

Weaver filled her in on his condition as soon as she arrived. Kerry had been there all morning speaking to Robert's doctors, but left for a while after Susan arrived. Susan stood in the doorway for a couple minutes, looking at him as he slept in his hospital bed. He looked so small and helpless there. He was pale from all the blood loss and had a night's worth of stubble on his face that made his appearance look even more altered. Her heart broke to see him like that, and she walked over to his bed while wiping tears from her eyes. "Robert," she whispered as she reached out to touch his good hand. She knew he was heavily medicated, but hoped he might stir.

At her touch, his eyelids fluttered open. "Susan," he croaked. The name was slurred, as though it took great effort even to speak the one word.

Susan squeezed his hand and smiled. "Hi, sweetie," she whispered. She leaned down to kiss his cheek. "How are you doing?" She tried not to think about the trauma of the previous night, and tried to focus on Robert's recovery. She leaned over to grab the glass of water and placed the straw to his lips. As she watched him struggle even to drink, her heart was overwhelmed with love for him.

"How do I look like I'm doing?" Robert shook his head as Susan set the glass of water down. "I had my arm sliced off. I've been better…" His words were still slow and slurred, but his voice sounded better now.

She sat down next to him and held his good hand. "I see they were able to reattach it, so that's good," she replied, trying to find something positive."

"But on the down side, it was cut off by a helicopter," he replied, clearly determined to only see the negative. "My career is probably shot."

"You'll do physical therapy; you never know what might happen." She reached out with her other hand and caressed his cheek.

Robert turned his face away from her touch. "Susan, I am not going to see the bright side of this, so quit it, will ya?"

She sighed and looked at him carefully. Finally her façade crumbled and she burst into tears. "I was so scared last night and seeing you like that, I…I just…I realized…" She wrapped one arm around his torso and hugged him. "I didn't want to lose you too."

Robert had no energy to move or attempt to hug her in return, and lay there, not knowing what to say or do. Finally he spoke. "Susan, you should go…somewhere warm…vacation."

Susan sat up and wiped her eyes again. "I don't want to leave you here all by yourself," she protested. "And what about Gretel?"

"Kennel."

"But you shouldn't be alone right now."

"I don't need a babysitter." His voice was getting louder.

"But Robert—"

"You go! Go away!" He was very agitated, trying maintain his calm, unsuccessfully.

Susan sighed and stood up. Robert looked angry, his face was red and he was trying to move, but couldn't. She wasn't sure why he was reacting this way, but decided it must be the medication. "All right, calm down," she said quietly. "I'll put Gretel in a kennel for you and then I'll see if I can book a flight to Vegas. It's been a while since I was there last…" She remained where she was for a minute as Robert drifted off to sleep. She ran into Weaver out in the hall and talked for a few minutes with her before leaving. If Kerry thought it strange for Susan to be so upset over Robert, she didn't say anything.

(SCENE)

Gretel was very grateful to have somebody to play with when Susan arrived at Robert's house. She took Gretel outside for a while before going back in to pack her things for an extended stay at the kennel. Before leaving with the dog, she cleaned out the fridge and took the garbage outside. She knew his cleaning service wouldn't come until the middle of the week.

After delivering Gretel to the kennel and explaining the situation to the people there, she left and went back to her apartment. She packed her suitcase while making phone calls and searching online for good deals.

In the end, she ended up in Barbados instead of Las Vegas. There was a good deal for it, so she took it. The sun and sand went a long way to soothe her rattled nerves. But the entire time, she missed Robert. She missed cuddling in bed with him after making love, and sharing a shower the next morning. She wanted to lie on a beach towel with him next to her, as he put suntan lotion on her back. She wanted to drink colorful beverages that came with little paper umbrellas with him, and enjoy fresh seafood dinners al fresco with him too. Everything would have been more fun with him there. And knowing that he was back in Chicago, suffering as badly as he was, seriously dampened her enjoyment. And while the vacation did go to help her move past the trauma of the event, she decided that the next time she went on a trip, Robert would be with her.

(SCENE)

When County reopened a couple weeks later, Susan was back and ready to go to work. She wanted the normalcy of a regular work routine. She heard from Kerry that Robert would be returning home soon, and wanted to visit him, but was nervous how he'd react to seeing her. He hadn't reached out to her since she'd returned. Gretel was still at the kennel, and Susan thought it was time for her to come home again.

The next time Susan had a day off, she went to the kennel and took Gretel out. She drove the dog, who was very glad to see her, to the hospital to visit Robert. The hospital officials were unhappy to see such a large dog brought inside, but didn't try to stop her.

She could hear Robert bellowing from his room as she walked down the hall towards him. She watched a nurse scurry out of the room and wondered what was wrong. As she walked into the room, Robert looked up, saw her and Gretel, and stopped yelling. Gretel started to run and jumped up on the bed next to her master. She covered him with wet kisses as Robert buried his face in her fur, hugging her with his good arm.

Susan sat down next to them on the bed and smiled. "I thought you might want to see her," she said after a minute. "She liked the kennel, but it was time for her to have a break."

Robert looked up and smiled. He reached out and touched Susan's cheek with his fingertips. "You're so tan," he commented. "Where did you go?"

"Barbados," she replied. She looked into his eyes and smiled sadly. "I missed you the entire time. We should go together some time."

Robert looked at Susan searchingly. He didn't detect any sarcasm or falseness. After she'd left and the medication had worn off, he'd spent a lot of time contemplating their relationship and its future. He hadn't really been able to do anything else, trapped between spending hours in bed and hours in physical therapy. He thought that this would be the end of his relationship with Susan. Who would want to be with a crippled man? She would come to her senses on vacation and move on from him. It made sense, and he was prepared for it. So he'd sent her away. He didn't expect her to come back. But she had. Susan came back. Elizabeth still hadn't returned or even sent word to him. He was sure that by now she must have heard what had happened.

He looked over at Susan again. "You came back," he commented casually. "I wasn't sure you would."

Susan reached out and grabbed his good hand. "Of course I came back," she replied. "I'm not going anywhere any time soon." She sat back on the bed next to him and watched as Gretel settled onto Robert's legs. "I think I know why you sent me away," she continued, knowingly. She entwined her fingers through his and laid her head on his good shoulder. "You test people. You were testing me. That's your thing."

"My thing?" Robert sounded insulted.

"Everybody has a thing," she explained. "Sometimes it's a defense mechanism, sometimes it's just how we get to know other people. You test people."

Robert didn't like being psychoanalyzed, particularly when the observations were true. He liked to think of himself as illusive and unpredictable. But she was right. Testing people was "his thing" as she'd put it. So many people failed, but so far Susan had always passed his tests. He couldn't let her know that, however. "Yeah? And what's your thing?" he finally asked gruffly.

Susan pursed her lips and sat up. She leaned in and kissed him gently on the mouth. "Passing tests," she murmured as she pulled away from him again.

Robert's eyes grew wide in spite of his best efforts not to. It was like she could read his mind. Nothing had ever happened like this to him before. His heart began to pound. How could she know all these things about him? He'd never spoken of them before. He felt raw, exposed. On top of his arm, he felt at a complete disadvantage to her and that was intolerable. This was why he avoided love. It gave the other person too much power over him. He wanted to push her away, but at the same time, he wanted to pull her to him and wrap his arms around her. Or his arm…The thought of letting himself lose himself in her was very tempting. Everything was bright and fun and happy in Susan's world. He needed fun and happy right now. But he couldn't let her have that much power over him.

Susan tried to think of something else to say to Robert. She could see the gears in his mind were overworking themselves and had rendered him speechless. It was amusing to see but she dared not let _him_ know that. She knew how fragile his ego was, especially now that he was so physically vulnerable. "So when will you be getting out of here?" she finally asked, trying to change the subject.

Robert cleared his throat and blinked hard before responding. "Monday," he replied. "I'm glad, I'm sick of this place," he grumbled.

"I'll take Gretel back to the kennel until then, but I'll bring her home on Monday for you," Susan replied. "Would you like me to come get you?"

Robert looked at Gretel and scratched her between the ears. He nodded silently, not making eye-contact with Susan.

"Would you like me to come stay with you for a while? You're bound to be a bit wobbly at first…"

Again Robert didn't look at her, and frowned before nodding his head.

Susan only stayed for a few more minutes before leaving with the dog. She kissed Robert one more time before going.

After she had gone, Robert sighed and looked down at his left arm, which was now in a sling. He didn't know how he was going to get through all of this. Susan was probably just being nice to him out of pity, the way Kerry was being nice to him. Except Kerry wanted his job. Susan definitely didn't have a diabolical ulterior motive. She wasn't that kind of person. When she eventually broke up with him for good, whenever that was, he'd be utterly alone. He hated the thought of that. He and Susan were great together, he could truly appreciate that now, but with his arm, there was no way a woman as amazing as she was would choose to stay with him. Another guy would come along, a guy with two perfectly functioning arms, and would sweep her off her feet. She'd leave him and his one arm, alone, in the dust. It wouldn't have been such a painful prospect if he'd had his career to throw himself into, but that was not currently an option. He doubted it ever would be again. What was left for him now?

He thought about the accident for the millionth time since he'd come out of his reattachment surgery. How could he have been so stupid to have let this happen? What would become of his life now? His career was over. He knew it. He'd never regain enough function to continue his surgical career. He'd be lucky enough to regain enough function to carve the turkey for next Thanksgiving. That didn't mean he was going to stop trying though. He had to hold on to the hope of a miracle. Though he couldn't think of anybody less deserving of a miracle than himself. Mark Green was the sort of man who'd deserved a miracle, and he hadn't gotten one. If Mark hadn't gotten one, what hope did _he_ have?

Over the last few weeks, his thoughts had followed this downward spiral pattern. He thought of losing Susan, his career, his arm, and the slim chance of recovery. Over and over again, until he thought he was losing his mind. He had nothing else to focus on, unfortunately. Sometimes it made him want to scream.

His mood had sunk so low that by the time his nurse arrived to help take him to the physical therapy room, it was the last thing he wanted to do. He hadn't had any idea it would hurt so much just trying to do simple tasks, but each therapy session was excruciatingly painful and left him absolutely exhausted when he was done. He napped for hours after each session. Even trying to move his fingers was too much for him anymore. He didn't want Susan to see him like this. She would see how weak he really was and would probably laugh at him. He thought he'd die if that ever happened.

As much as he dreaded having Susan stay with him at his house for an extended time, risking her seeing him this way, he missed her desperately and wanted to be around her and her bright spirit again. Even though she could apparently read his mind now or see into his soul, something he thought only he'd been able to do to others, he needed her to be around him. She was good for him. Even her short visit that day had boosted his spirit. He realized as he drifted off to sleep that night, that he didn't want to go through this alone. His last thought before falling asleep, was that he wasn't sure if he meant his recovery or his life in general.


	4. Chapter 4

Susan packed a couple suitcases with clothes and other items she would need for an extended stay at Robert's house. She wasn't sure how long he'd want her to stay, but figured she'd take as much as she could with her as possible.

On Sunday, after her shift, she moved her things into Robert's house. She set everything up in his spare room, figuring he'd want privacy and might not be ready for even the implied intimacy that came from sharing a room.

When that was finished, she went to the grocery store and restocked his kitchen so he'd come home to an inviting place all ready for him. She purchased already-prepared items that would be easy for him to use, like already-cut carrot and celery sticks, and apples slices. She'd made sure he had an electric can opener at his house and stocked up on canned goods without pop-top lids. Those lids were great, but not when you only had one functioning arm. He'd need the aid of the can opener from now on.

With the kitchen stocked, she moved upstairs to change the sheets on Robert's bed. She thought he'd enjoy coming home to a nice, clean bed. She considered buying flowers, but knew he had some at the hospital to take home with him. Besides, she knew he wasn't a flower person, really.

The next day, Susan left early after explaining to Kerry about Robert being discharged. "I promised to help him get home," she said, "Plus we have to go pick up his dog." Kerry didn't comment as Susan left, much to Susan's pleasure, and soon enough, she was driving to the hospital to pick up Robert.

Robert was not happy at all over being wheeled out of the hospital. "I'm not an invalid, damn it!" he yelled at the nurse as Susan walked next to him, carrying his flowers, get-well cards, and balloons.

Susan rolled her eyes. "Robert, we're almost to the car, just go with it, ok? Enjoy being waited on," she said calmly while trying to fish the car keys out of her pocket.

Robert scowled at her, but didn't speak. She was his ride home, after all. He was quiet until they were settled in the car. He tried to reach out to change the radio station, but couldn't reach it with his right hand. He sat back in the seat, frustrated. "I hate this music," he grumbled.

"It's the Beatles, who hates the Beatles?"

"The Beatles suck."

Susan rolled her eyes again and reached over to switch the station. Classical music began to waft through the car. "Better?" she asked.

"Much," Robert replied, leaning back and looking out the window. It was a bright, sunny afternoon; warm, but he didn't feel it. He just felt blank. Empty. "Did you get Gretel yet?" he asked a short time later.

"There's enough room in the back of the car. I thought we could go now and get her together," Susan said cheerfully.

When they got to the kennel and Susan parked the car, Robert walked into the building on his own without assistance. His balance was fine, for his arm in its sling was no different than if he had broken it. He kept it close to his body and tried to make sure nothing touched it, because it was extremely sensitive to any sensation as the nerves were trying to fix themselves and the flesh was knitting back together. He walked next to Susan so she was on his right side as they went inside to get Gretel.

Gretel was ecstatic to go home again. According to the people at the kennel, she'd been a very well-behaved dog who had never given them any trouble. Robert was proud that his dog reflected so well on him and his training. He always knew Gretel was an exemplary dog. He'd thought of training her for shows, but with his job he'd never had the time.

Gretel ran around the house happily when they returned home. Robert watched with a smile on his face, his first smile since the accident. Susan stood next to him, leaning lightly against his good arm, and glanced at him. "Are you as glad to be home as she is?" she asked. Gretel was now chasing her tail in the kitchen.

"Definitely," he said, looking at Susan's pretty face. "Maybe not enough to chase my tail…but maybe enough to chase _yours_…"

Susan gasped in mock shock and laughed while hitting him lightly on his good arm. "Watch it, you! Although…that does sound like a lot of fun…I might just have to chase _you_ around the house later on." She kissed him on the cheek. "I've really missed you. I've missed being with you."

Robert allowed himself to give in to her and wrapped his good arm around her waist. He leaned over and returned the kiss. "I missed you too," he said quietly as she moved in front of him and embraced him gently. He smiled again as she kissed his neck and collar bone. "I…I don't think I'm going to be able to…you know. Not for a while at least."

Susan looked into his eyes and smiled kindly. "I know, and I don't mind. I'm not going anywhere. We'll just take it nice and slow."

Robert felt relief flood his mind as Susan returned to kissing him. Maybe she really wasn't going to leave him after all.

(SCENE)

The first night back home was a bit rough for Robert. He found it difficult to get comfortable in his bed. He'd spent the last few weeks sleeping in a partially-seated position and found lying flat on his back difficult on his arm.

There was also some awkwardness when it had come time to decide where Susan was going to sleep. She had seemed rather insistent on sleeping in the guestroom, away from him, which caused his earlier-found confidence to falter. He wasn't going to force her to do something she was uncomfortable with and she clearly didn't want to see him in an intimate fashion this soon after the accident. Maybe the thought of seeing his arm repulsed her. All he knew was that his bed felt too big without her next to him in it that night.

Susan hadn't wanted to overwhelm Robert on his first night home, and had declined his offer to sleep in his bed with him. She had wanted to though, and spent a long, lonely night in the guest room missing him.

The next day was her day off, and she slept in and woke up to a bright, sunny day. It was warm already and she stayed in her shorts and tank top she'd slept in as she went downstairs to make breakfast.

Robert was already up and playing in the backyard with Gretel as Susan came into the kitchen. "Did you eat anything yet?" she called out from the back door.

"Not yet," Robert replied while carefully throwing a stick for the dog to fetch.

Susan sliced half a cantaloupe and placed it on a plate for them to share. She also made toast and scrambled eggs and brought everything outside for them to eat on his deck. "This is a perfect day, I think," she commented after Robert had sat down next to her and was putting food on his plate. "I love this kind of weather. It's not too hot and not too cold."

"I have a couple lawn chairs, you're welcome to set one out to sunbathe later on if you want to keep working on that tan," Robert offered casually. He wondered if she had sunbathed topless in Barbados. It was a shame he hadn't gotten a chance to find out the night before.

"That might be nice; maybe you could join me."

"Maybe…"

Susan looked at Robert and poured him another glass of orange juice. "You know, I was pretty lonely last night in the guest room," she confessed. "I wanted to give you a chance to adjust without feeling any pressure of having me around on the first night. But if you don't mind, I might join you tonight, if you'll have me…"

Robert looked at his glass as he listened to her words. She was still interested in him after all. "If I'll have you…oh, I'll have you, all right…" he replied with a grin.

"I like the sound of that." Susan felt the urge to throw herself at Robert, but resisted.

When they finished their meal, she took Robert up on his offer to sunbathe in the backyard and returned to the guest room to change into her bikini. She went back to the yard and set up a lounge chair with a towel under it and was comfortably seated when she remembered the sunscreen.

"I'll get it for you," Robert offered. Susan told him where it was and he returned a couple minutes later with the bottle in his hand. He experimented with it for a minute and managed to open it himself and pour some out into his palm. He knelt down next to Susan and watched as she untied her bikini top and leaned forward to let him rub the lotion on her back and shoulders.

Robert took his time with his task, enjoying every second of it. When he'd finally finished with her back, Susan leaned back in the chair, remaining topless so he could do the same to her front. She smiled seductively at him. He returned the smiled and leaned in to kiss her, letting his hand wander over her bare skin. Susan wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. They were only aware at that moment of how amazing it felt to be with one another again.

Robert felt his confidence soar, even though he wasn't able to fully engage in holding her. Susan was clearly enjoying herself if the way she was trying to pull his shirt off was any indication. "What if the neighbors see us?" he said, pulling away from her and sitting down next to her on the lounge chair to get more comfortable.

"Who cares?" Susan murmured. She wrapped her arms around Robert's shoulders again and pulled him down on top of her. She loved having things back to almost normal for the two of them again. All the horror of the accident began to dissipate as she felt him against her. He was alive, he was getting better, and he clearly hadn't lost his touch as a lover.

Robert had just untied one side of Susan's bikini bottom and was reaching for the other side when a voice startled them. "Robert? There was no answer when I knocked on the door so I thought I'd see if you were out back and…Oh!" Robert tore himself away from Susan and looked up to see Kerry Weaver standing inside his backyard, looking at them with wide eyes.

Susan gasped and clasped her bikini top to her chest. She blushed bright red and hid behind Robert while slipping it back on and retying the bottom. "Kerry, what brings you here?" Robert asked, standing up and walking over to her.

"I was going to check in on you, but I see somebody's already doing that for you," she replied, looking back and forth between him and Susan. "How long has this been going on?"

Robert reached over to Susan and pulled her to his side, wrapping his good arm around her waist. "Couple of months," Robert said casually. "I mean, we've been friends since last Christmas, but it's only been sexual since Mark got sick again." He spoke brazenly, challenging Kerry to do something about it.

Susan gasped again and looked at him. "Robert!" she hissed sharply. He held her more tightly and she didn't speak again.

Robert was mortified that Kerry had caught them in such a compromising position, knowing full well she was the type who'd go after his job over such an opportunity. He only hoped that this wouldn't damage Susan's career as well. "It was nice of you to check on me, Kerry, but as you can clearly see, I'm being very well cared for," he said as Susan leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Kerry, I don't suppose you could just forget you saw this, could you?" Susan asked. "We're not really doing anything wrong. I'm not getting any special favors at work and we're both fully-consenting adults."

Robert looked at Kerry and could see her calculating things in her mind. He hoped she would remember that she owed him one for keeping her sexuality a secret for so long. This was the least she could do for him. Fortunately for him, she appeared to have remembered this, and seemed to be in a charitable mood. "Well, I suppose you've been through a lot lately, Robert," she finally replied. "I don't see how you two are causing any harm by carrying on together. Just make sure that this doesn't start to affect your work performance." She held out a handful of papers to Robert. "I've been appointed as your replacement until you're back, but I wanted to give you this for when you have time to work on it. And I need to get back to work, so I'll just see myself out…" With that, she turned and walked out of the backyard.

Both Robert and Susan breathed a sigh of relief when they were alone again. Robert felt a sudden wave of exhaustion roll over him. He handed the papers to Susan and turned towards the house. "I need a nap," he muttered. He hated how much his energy level was suffering after his accident, but he knew fighting it only made things worse.

Susan followed behind Robert up to his room and climbed into the bed with him. She kissed him and snuggled up against him. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," he said quietly while carefully moving his bad arm to rest on her waist. He was amazed to feel that his arm barely felt painful when he draped it across her.

"I know, but I don't want to leave you," Susan replied, smiling when he kissed the back of her neck. He was sound asleep within seconds, snoring softly in her ear.

Robert slept for two hours and Susan remained where she was, not sleeping, but thinking about him about him and their future. He had barely begun to deal with what had happened to him and she didn't know how he was going to handle it. When the realization that his career was over hit him, it might not be pretty. She knew how much being a surgeon meant to him and it broke her heart to think that this would be ending for him. She hoped she could help him see that he was so much more than just a surgeon. There were other ways to help people, if that was his motive behind it.

By the time he woke up from his nap, she had turned around and was facing him. He loved that the first thing he saw was her pretty face. "Hi," she said in greeting, smiling and wrapping an arm around his waist. "Feeling refreshed?" Robert nodded and leaned over to rest his head against her chest. She traced her fingernails gently on his cheek and ear. "I was thinking about stuff while you slept and I wanted to tell you something, Robert. I wanted to let you know that, unless you tell me to, I'm not going away. I'm here for you, and you don't have to go through this alone. We'll get through this together. Because I love you, Robert…"

Robert pulled away from Susan and sat up in the bed, looking at her carefully. He didn't detect a shred of pity on her face and could see that she truly meant it. "Even if I never regain function in my arm?"

"I don't love you for your arm. I love all of you."

"And even if it takes a long time before we can…" Robert's voice faltered and he looked away from her, feeling ashamed.

"I don't love you for the sex, though it is extraordinary," Susan replied, reaching out and taking his hand. "We'll just take it nice and slow and we'll figure it out. Besides…experimenting is half the fun, right?"

Robert allowed himself to grin at that, and nodded his head. "And you won't leave even if my career is over?"

"Robert, I love you! I don't care what you do for a living or if you retire because of this. I just want you to be happy and I want you to be with me, and that's all I care about."

Robert's head was reeling and he lay back in the bed. As Susan crawled over to wrap herself around his good side, he tried to take all of this in. She was promising to stay, no matter what. And a woman had never before in his life uttered the words "I love you" to him before. "And you're sure you're not just saying this out of pity?" he asked cautiously.

"No," Susan replied, smiling warmly. "I knew it before, but then this happened and there wasn't a good time to say anything. I love you, I am _in_ love with you and nothing will change that." She wrapped her arms around him again and held him tightly.

That evening, Robert allowed Susan to remove his shirt and look at his arm for the first time. It hurt too much to let her touch it, but he did allow her to change the dressing before bed. She kissed his shoulder blade gently and massaged his neck and he felt peaceful for the first time in almost a month. Before they went to sleep, he insisted that she move into his room, and even helped her move her clothes into his closet before they went to bed.

His confidence felt much stronger that night as he fell asleep with Susan resting against him.

(SCENE)

Over the course of the next week, Susan was woken up nearly every night by Robert. He had started having nightmares and woke up screaming loudly enough to cause Gretel to run into the room in a panic. Susan had to calm both Robert and the dog down before they could go back to sleep again. By the time the week ended, she pleaded with him to talk to a counselor about his nightmares.

"It's not a sign of weakness, Robert, it's a sign that you want to be proactive about this. It's a strength," she said at breakfast over the weekend. "We can't keep waking up in the night like this. It's not healthy and I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted all the time now."

Robert would normally have opted for ignoring the problem, but visiting a counselor was one of the stipulations that had been placed on him in order to return to work, so he decided to get it over with. So, on top of excruciating physical therapy sessions, he added counseling sessions to his weekly recovery regimen.

Susan even showed her support by joining him in some of the counseling sessions. "I know it didn't happen to me, but you'll never know how freaked out I was to see you like that," she confessed to him. "I have nightmares too."

Robert was surprised at how helpful the counseling was, though he could never admit it. He found his relationship with Susan grew even stronger because of it. He was discovering all sorts of things about himself over the course of the summer. When he confessed to his therapist that he was feeling a lack of desire to return to work, something he had previously lived for, his therapist suggested that it was because he had a person in his life now who loved him unconditionally and asked nothing of him other than to return the love. "You don't have to continue proving yourself to anybody anymore, particularly yourself."

"So you're saying I was replacing the success of a career for love?"

"Is that what _you_ think?"

"I just said it, didn't I?" Robert thought for a minute before continuing. "So you're saying that I love Susan?"

"Is that how you feel?"

Robert was silent for a while. He thought about Elizabeth, still in England, still not having made any contact with him, and he felt nothing. No anger over not hearing from her. No attraction to her. He hoped she was doing well, but that was all. Then he thought of Susan, who would come home exhausted after a twelve hour shift that night, but still help him make dinner together and ask about his day and take time to play with Gretel. Susan loved him; she'd said so. Suddenly he felt warm and flushed. "I think it is," he murmured to himself.

(SCENE)

That night, even though it was a hot, humid August night, Robert felt brave enough to attempt intimacy again. True to her word, Susan was patient and understanding and at the same time, took great delight in everything they did.

When they had finished, she lay with her head against his chest. She tried to catch her breath as he traced his fingertips up and down her arm. "That was so worth the wait," she declared once she was able to speak again.

Robert grinned, feeling exactly the same. It had taken a bit of adjusting, but they had discovered that by lying at the edge of the bed, his bad arm could hang down out of danger from being touched accidentally. And with the aid of a pillow or two to help prop his upper body, he'd been able to perform to his standards, much to the delight of them both.

"You weren't half bad yourself," he said, pinching her playfully. He kissed her gently and ran his fingers through her hair. "Susan, there's something I want to say to you. I've never said this to anybody before and I don't know that I will make a habit of it, but I thought you deserved to know. I love you, Susan. I love you and I'm _in_ love with you…"

Susan smiled and twined her legs through his. "Well, it sounds like we're a perfect match then, because I'm still terribly in love with you…"

"It would sound that way, wouldn't it?"

"What should we do now with this new 'perfect match' status?"

"I think we should make love again and we should never stop."

"We'd have to stop sometime or we'd starve to death. And it would be awkward at work to explain to our patients why we're having sex in front of them…"

Robert grinned at the mental image. "Going grocery shopping, or to the bank…or the dentist…All right, you have a point. But any possible time that could otherwise be spent engaged in lovemaking, should be."

Susan reached her hand down his body and smiled predatorily. "Then why are we wasting good time talking about it when we could be doing it instead?"

Robert sat back in the bed and let her have her way with him. As he reached the end, he had one thought: He needed to marry Susan as soon as possible.

(SCENE)

By the end of August, it was time for Robert to start thinking about returning to work. One evening, he and Susan were sitting in their lounge chairs in the backyard, holding hands and watching the sun set. This was something they had done several nights a week over the course of the summer. It was one of their favorite activities, besides their more active indoor activities they also enjoyed.

"I feel like this has been a summer vacation and now I have to go back to school," Robert confessed. "I've felt so free, like a kid again. I mean, I've worked my ass off with physical therapy, don't get me wrong. I just…don't know if I really missed work all that much…"

Susan looked at Robert and raised her eyebrows. "Really? I thought you lived for your job. If you don't go back, what will you do?"

Robert squeezed her hand. "I did live for my job, but now there's more interesting things going on. You're a good distraction. Or a bad influence, whichever one you want to call it." He was quiet for a while as he thought about what he wanted to do with his career. His arm wasn't going to regain enough function to return to surgery, he knew that, and he'd slowly come to accept it. "A few years ago I was involved in some studies at the hospital. A hemo-aid study and another one about robotics in surgery. I got away from it after becoming Chief of Staff. I loved it though. Real science. I'm sure I could still do those even with my arm as it is. I might look into that a bit more…"

"I think that's a great idea. You can still do a lot of things at the hospital if you want to. You could always teach med students…" she grinned and winked at him.

"My favorite thing in the whole world, med students. So much fun…"

It was growing chilly after the sun had set, so Susan got up from her chair and sat down next to Robert in his chair to cuddle against him. "Whatever you end up doing, I hope it won't ruin this. Being together and getting to share time together because we aren't working opposite shifts." She wrapped her arms around his waist and slipped her hands into his pants pockets to keep them warm.

"I'll make sure our schedules are the same," Robert promised.

"What about being Chief of Staff? You think you'll stick with that?"

Robert kissed Susan as he thought about his answer. "I don't know," he confessed a minute later. "I feel like that might get in the way of researching. Besides, Kerry seems to be doing a great job of it. I don't need that stress if I want to try to recover still."

Susan looked incredulously at the man she loved and settled in against him. "Who are you and what have you done with the ruthless, bloodthirsty workaholic I used to know and loved so much? Don't get me wrong, I love this man too, so much more balanced and philosophical about everything."

Robert shrugged. "I think I would just make a fool of myself if I insisted on trying to continue with surgery. I'd hate to look foolish in front of the whole hospital…" He was sad that surgery had been taken from his life so suddenly that night in May, but he had spent the entire summer thinking about his future and contemplating what he wanted out of his life. He'd found that his priorities had changed significantly. He had a life with Susan now, and he wanted that to continue and to flourish. He wanted to marry her someday, and even in the back of his mind was the tiny thought of perhaps having a child with her. Having kids had never been a part of his goals in life before. He wasn't ready to say anything to her yet about it. He was barely comfortable with the thought himself. "I guess I'm just a different person now," he said in conclusion.

"Well, I definitely like this new person," Susan said. She nibbled his ear lobe before whispering, "It's cold, why don't we go inside and I'll massage your shoulders and then I'll let this new you make love to me, if you were interested…"

Robert grinned and nodded his head. "I am definitely interested in letting the new me get to know you in the Biblical sense," he replied as she stood up from the chair. He followed her into the house and they spent the rest of the evening getting to know each other all over again.

(SCENE)

"The new you is definitely just as good in bed as the old you," Susan commented breathlessly much later that night. "Maybe even better…" She ran her hands up and down his chest.

"I aim to please," Robert gasped. He grabbed one of her hands, brought it to his lips and kissed it.

That night, as Robert slept soundly in Susan's arms, she remained awake, thinking about their conversation earlier that night. He seemed serious about not returning to surgery or staying on as Chief of Staff. She thought that would be for the best, honestly, and was thrilled that he felt so too. He was growing so much as a person and it was exciting to watch it and be a part of it.

She had thought a few times before about what life would be like if she and Robert got married, but decided that it would probably be best to keep those thoughts to herself. He was still dealing with so much in his life that he didn't need more pressure.

Ever since dealing with Chloe last spring and worrying about Suzy, she'd entertained the thought of having a child of her own. She had loved being Suzy's mother and it had torn her life apart when she'd lost her. It had taken years to get over, but lately the urge was growing stronger. She was still young enough to get pregnant the old-fashioned way and when she gazed at Robert's sleeping form, she thought about what it would be like to have a child with him. She wasn't sure if he was good with children, or if he even wanted one. He'd never expressed such a desire to her before, so she was also reluctant to bring it up in conversation. She thought he'd make a good father, though.

The next morning, Susan decided to see how Robert felt about their future, but didn't want to ask outright. She wanted to be subtle. She reordered her birth control prescription while making toast in the kitchen. He was at the stove frying sausages and heard her on the phone. "Wouldn't want to forget that now, would we?" she said lightly while buttering the toast.

Robert smiled and shook his head. "I don't know, I can think of a few worse things than having a baby," he commented. "Getting your arm cut off by a helicopter is definitely far worse…"

"I suppose bringing a precious life into the world is usually considered one of the better parts of life…"

Robert nodded and grabbed half the toast before sitting down. "It's usually considered the noblest thing a person can do."

Susan didn't push any further, but changed the subject to Robert's return to work the next week. They spent the rest of the meal talking about it. But she felt a lot more confident about her future with him after that. Unbeknownst to her, Robert now felt the same about her.


	5. Chapter 5

Robert's last week at home went quickly and before he knew it, it was time to return to work. He felt nervous, returning to the location of his accident for the first time since it happened. Kerry wasn't very happy to see him back. She had usurped his office soon after his accident and seemed to have made several changes she claimed could easily be changed back.

His first act, after throwing Weaver out of his office, was to contact Donald Anspaugh, to discuss his plans for his career. The older gentleman was the unofficial "village elder" of the surgical department as well as a member of the Board of Directors, so he was the natural person to contact about such things.

Anspaugh came to visit Robert's office later that morning. "How are things, Robert?" he asked in greeting. "We've all been wondering about you, but you're such a private person, we wanted to respect your privacy."

"I'm pretty good, considering the circumstances," Robert replied honestly. He had always liked and respected Anspaugh, and it came through in the way he spoke to the older man. "I could definitely be worse."

"I'm very happy to hear that, Robert. It's good to see you back at County."

Robert looked around his office, and smiled. "I've been doing a lot of thinking over the summer, Donald, and I wanted to run some things past you. I haven't regained enough function of my arm to make returning to surgery a real possibility. I was hoping we could work something out with me perhaps moving into a research and studies position full time. It's something I like doing, but all my other duties have gotten in the way over the years."

Donald looked thoughtful for a minute before nodding his head approvingly. "Your research papers always brought in extra revenue and accolades to the hospital…I think that might be a great solution. And how about your position as Chief of Staff? I assume you're still interested in that."

Robert looked around the room again. This job came with a lot of headaches. Could he handle that on top of his recovery _and_ his research? His relationship with Susan took up a lot of his time as well, and he had no intention of spending less time with her now that he was back at work. And did he even want the job anymore? "How good a job was Weaver doing?"

Donald looked surprised. "She seems to have been born for the job," he said bluntly. "She's one of the only people, besides you, to have volunteered for the job. It does of course call her away from the ER a lot…"

"I'm sure they're devastated by that," Robert murmured. He took all of this in calmly. If only it wasn't Weaver, he wouldn't have any problem handing over the reins. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't sexist or homophobic and had no problem working for a woman who was gay. He just hated her because of her general attitude. He just couldn't stand her. It would make it hard for him to swallow his pride, knowing the job would go to her. But at the same time, with Weaver taking on Chief of Staff, he'd be free to set his own schedule with researching. He could work banker's hours if he wanted! He and Susan could spend a lot more time together that way. It had a definite appeal. Even the idea of a pay cut didn't make it any less tempting. Besides, there were definite positives to focusing on research. All the papers he'd write would most likely end up in medical journals and he might be asked to give speeches at conferences around the country. That was a very definite positive.

"Give it to her," he finally replied. "I don't need the stress during my recovery and she's good at it."

Donald's eyebrows rose. "Well, I did not see this outcome occurring, but I think it will probably be for the best for everybody involved."

By the time Donald left Robert's office, Robert felt free and confident about returning to work. He would finish the week as Chief of Staff, and then appoint Kerry as his permanent replacement.

That night, he and Susan grilled steaks in his backyard and enjoyed a couple beers. He couldn't imagine anything else quite as wonderful. "I'm so happy that you're going to do something you really enjoy," Susan said as she cut their steaks.

Robert reached into a bag of potato chips and held one up to her mouth. She took it from his fingers and ate it while he talked. "I thought it would be harder, but it wasn't. I just feel free now." He looked at her. Her cheeks were pink from the heat of the grill, and he thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

As they sat at the table on his deck, they talked about how the day had gone and Robert realized he never wanted this to end. He wanted to sit down to dinner with Susan every night for the rest of his life. "Let's get married," he heard himself blurt out as Susan cut his steak for him.

Susan's fork and knife clattered onto his plate and she looked at him, wide-eyed with shock. "What?" she asked quietly.

Robert took a deep breath and set his fork down as well. He normally wouldn't have sprung something on her like this, but it was too late to take it back now. "Why don't we get married?" he asked. "You know this was where we were heading. Why not just do it?"

"I…I…don't know what to say," Susan sputtered. "Of course I've thought of marrying you, but, I just don't really want to deal with everything that goes into a wedding. Like inviting my family. It's just so much work."

Robert grinned. "I knew you were the right woman for me," he said. "You know how I can't stand my family either. We could just go down to City Hall if you wanted."

"Robert, what has gotten into you? This is so sudden. Are you really sure you want us to get married or is this some sort of reaction to all the changes in your life?"

Robert frowned. "I'm certain, but it sounds like _you_ aren't," he replied coolly. "I thought we had a good thing going between us. I figured, why not make it official?" Susan opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again without speaking. He saw how confused and disappointed she looked. Disappointed? He sighed and shook his head. "I did this all wrong…I suppose that wasn't much of a proposal. And I don't even have a ring to give you yet…I suppose you probably spent your whole life dreaming of this moment and here I am, ruining it for you."

Susan shook her head and leaned over to kiss him. "Don't mind me; I just have some…issues when it comes to matrimony. I hardly had a good example with my own parents," she said after the kiss. "I definitely want to marry you. I'm just still adjusting to the new, spontaneous you, that's all."

"We could go after work tomorrow and look for engagement rings if you like," Robert offered. "And once we get it, I'll even propose to you properly. What do you say?"

"Yes, I'd like that very much," Susan said with a grin. "And I don't know about City Hall, I'm not really a church person, but I think we could do better…"

"I'm sure we'll figure something out."

That night, Susan and Robert made love with a passion that expressed the joy of their nearly-engaged status. He thought about asking Susan about children, but didn't want to rush everything too much.

(SCENE)

The next day at work, Robert was pleasantly surprised by the return of Elizabeth. He had missed her terribly since she'd left, and was happy to see her walk into his physical therapy session that morning. He was happy, though, that the familiar pang in his heart whenever he saw her, was nowhere to be found now. It made it much easier to be friendly to her.

"I'd heard about it, but I couldn't wrap my mind around it," she said after he hugged her in greeting. "I'm so sorry, Robert…"

Robert shrugged and wiped his sweating face off with a towel. "I missed you, Lizzie," he replied, smiling sadly. "And how are you?"

Elizabeth shrugged and he looked into her eyes and saw a withdrawnness that hadn't been there before. "I'm doing all right, I suppose," she replied quietly.

"I'm glad you're back, and I'm sure the surgical staff will be too. They've been down two surgeons since the end of May." Elizabeth looked sad but didn't reply. He continued. "If you're back for good, I want to appoint you as Chief of Surgery. I'm stepping down. Kerry's taking my place as Chief of Staff. I'll be moving to a research and studies position here. Will you do it?"

Elizabeth sighed and nodded her head. "I'll miss you in the OR," she replied. "We really did have some great moments there. Are you sure you won't recover enough to return to surgery?"

"I'm struggling just to wiggle my fingers still," Robert admitted. "I want to try and maintain my dignity, if possible."

Elizabeth shook her head wondrously. "This is so unlike you, Robert. Taking off of this in stride. I expected you to be far more upset."

"Well I've had a long time to adjust and a lot of help getting there," Robert said, thinking of Susan. "I don't know if you've heard, but Dr. Lewis and I are involved. I wouldn't have gotten through this without her."

"Oh…isn't that…wonderful. Dr. Lewis seems to be good at helping people out." She spoke without looking into his eyes.

Robert detected jealousy in her voice, but chose not to acknowledge it. He was flattered that she was jealous over his relationship with Susan, but it was too late for her now. Besides, they were both damaged goods at this point in time, and nothing they attempted would work out. Except perhaps friendship. But nothing more than that. "We're actually talking of getting married," he continued.

Elizabeth blanched. "You? I thought you weren't the marrying type. What happened to all the things you used to say like how love does things to the brain so stay away from it?"

Robert shrugged and grinned. "It turns out I was right. It does affect the brain, for sure. I tried to stay away from it, but Susan wouldn't let me. She can be very aggressive, you know."

Elizabeth shook her head. "You do beat all, Robert…" Suddenly she looked down at her hip and reached for her pager. "I'm being paged to the ER," she declared. "I have to go. I'll talk to you later, all right?"

(SCENE)

Robert returned to his office and started packing items into the boxes he'd brought from home. It would take several trips to empty out the room that had served as his office for nearly four years. He made sure to page Susan up to the office when he knew she'd be on her lunch break.

Susan arrived with sandwiches from Doc Magoo's, and locked the door behind her. They ate hastily before Robert cleared off his desk and grinned as she sat down on it. "We only get a few more days in here," she pouted as he walked up to her and untucked her blouse. They kissed while assisting each other with the untucking, unbuckling, and unbuttoning of their clothes.

As they began to partake of one another's flesh, Robert spoke. "I think I saw a movie like this once."

"Oh yeah? I think I saw it too," Susan replied with a wink and a grin.

"Every day you show me more and more reasons why I love you…Maybe we should make our own movie…"

"All right, but only if it's never posted online. I don't want other people to see it," Susan said.

Robert couldn't believe his good luck. He was going to be marrying the greatest woman in the world! "I thought that would shock you," he continued.

"Well, if you'd said you'd _been_ in a movie like that before I might be shocked, but not that you've watched one. I'd be more shocked if you hadn't. Besides, after we get married, the only movies you'll need to watch will be ours."

"That works for me…" They were too deeply engaged at that point to continue talking until they'd finished.

Susan sat down on the love seat next to his desk and smiled as she buttoned her blouse. "I'm going to miss this," she said sadly, looking around the room. "We've had some great times in here. Some really great times."

Robert nodded his head and buckled his belt. He'd gotten very good at doing things with one hand, and was now quite capable of dressing himself. "It's a lot more fun than yelling at people which is what usually goes on in here," he replied lightly.

When they were once again fully clothed, they discussed their evening plans. "I want to get you the perfect ring," Robert declared. "It has to be just right. And then we'll go to dinner." He had already made reservations for them at Tru so Susan could finally get to eat there, but he was going to keep that a surprise. If all went as planned, they'd eat dinner and then he'd propose properly at the restaurant.

"Well I'm not picky, so I'm sure we won't have a problem finding a good ring." Susan kissed him for a few minutes before leaving to return to the ER.

The day went slowly after that, but finally their shift ended and they drove further into town to look at some jewelry shops. Susan had never owned a diamond before and delighted in looking at all of them gleaming up from their display cases. Robert loved that she was having so much fun and wished he could shower her with diamonds. He noted how she eyed a particular pair of diamond earrings and thought they'd make a great birthday gift. He planned to come back without her sometime and buy them for her.

It wasn't until they went to the second shop that Susan found the perfect ring. When she pointed to a small diamond, Robert shook his head. "How about that one?" he asked, pointing to a ring with a diamond at least three times larger.

"That must cost a fortune!" she gasped.

"Lucky I have a fortune to spend," Robert replied as the sales clerk held the ring out for Susan to try. "It looks great on you," he declared while she held it up to look at it.

"It's gorgeous," she breathed. It felt weighty on her finger, but not too heavy, just right. "I love it!"

"Then this is the one," Robert declared. "And does it fit or does it need to be adjusted?"

Susan shook her hand and slipped the ring on and off a few times before shaking her head. "It's perfect," she replied. She slipped it off one last time and gave it back to the sales clerk.

"We'll take it," Robert said proudly, reaching into his pocket and taking out his wallet. He handed the saleswoman his credit card and a short time later they were leaving the store again with a small bag they hadn't walked in with. Robert was so happy he didn't even care that the ring had cost twelve thousand dollars. Susan had never asked for anything from him before and he was thrilled that she was going to become his wife. It was a small token of his affection and it didn't matter how much it cost. He'd have paid a million dollars if he'd had to.

After the ring shopping, Robert drove them to the restaurant. "What if we don't get in?" Susan asked cautiously as they parked the car and she saw where they were.

"I made reservations this time," he replied with a grin.

Susan leaned over and kissed him after he'd finished parking. "I love you," she said before getting out of the car. Robert linked arms with her as they walked into the restaurant and announced themselves to the greeter.

Susan looked around eagerly as they were led to a small table for two in an intimate corner of the restaurant. "This place is amazing," she whispered after the greeter had given them menus. She looked around the room, taking it all in. Off-white walls filled with beautiful artwork, simple yet very sophisticated. It was lovely to look at but not too busy to take away the focus of the food. The dining room was small, yet they still felt like they had privacy in their corner. After a short discussion, they decided to go with the prix fixe meal and let the chef serve them whatever he had planned for that evening.

Susan had never felt more pampered and spoiled before. She was so used to taking care of herself and working hard for everything she had, but had never been able to experience something at this level of luxury before. Course after course of rich, delicious, and artistically-presented food was put before them and they savored every bite of it. "I've never had a meal like this before," she whispered after finishing the last of her beef tenderloin and caramelized onion tart.

Robert smiled and set his fork down. "I'll have to keep that in mind," he replied. "You clearly love being pampered and I love pampering you. You have a smile on your face right now that is lighting up the whole room." Susan blushed and looked down at her empty plate. "Don't stop," he commanded, reaching out to grab her hand. "Don't get embarrassed, Susan. You are so beautiful right now."

Just then the server arrived with their dessert plates, so they broke apart to allow her to put the plates on the table. After a few seconds, Robert watched as Susan took her first bite of the apple tarte tatin with crème anglaise. A smile broke out on her face and she closed her eyes in ecstasy. "Remind me to spoil you more often," he said, gazing at her.

Susan opened her eyes and grinned. "I was born to be spoiled, though it never happened," she replied. "This is the life. I could do this forever and never get tired of it…"

"So noted," Robert replied before taking a bit of his dessert.

"This whole evening has probably been the best night of my life," Susan declared partway through dessert.

Robert decided it was a good time, and took the ring out of his pocket. He held it out to her across the table. "Susan, I'm not much with words, so I can't make a flowery, poetic proposal. I'll just make an honest one instead," he started, waiting for her to set her fork down. She looked into his eyes and he saw hers fill with tears. "We have been through a lot since you came into my life last Christmas. I can't imagine dealing with what I've gone through if you weren't here for me. I think I'd have lost my sanity a long time ago. I want to make sure that never happens, and I think the best way to make sure it doesn't is if we get married. I want you to always be a part of my life and I want to see what the future holds for us, because I don't know about you, but I think we're spectacular together…So, Susan, will you marry me?"

Susan sniffed and the tears in her eyes spilled down her cheeks. She nodded her head and wiped her eyes. "Yes, I'll marry you, Robert," she said. She continued to sniffle as Robert slipped the engagement ring on her finger and stood up to embrace her. Susan stood up and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. They kissed for a couple minutes before breaking apart again.

Once they were sitting back at the table, Susan gazed at her hand. "Is this real? I'm not dreaming, am I?" she asked.

Robert reached his hand out and traced his fingertip over the ring. "This is very real, my dear," he said. He wasn't normally the type to use pet name or terms of endearment towards another person, but he found that he liked it. Apparently love was turning him mushy and romantic. And he didn't care at all.

The rest of the evening was a blur for Susan. The meal had been wonderful, the proposal had been magical, and afterwards, she and Robert had returned home and made love long into the night. It was almost more than she could handle.

The best moment came the next morning, however, as she was about to take her birth control pill in the bathroom. Robert walked up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist. He kissed her shoulder, and leaned his head against it, looking at her in the mirror. He ran his fingers gently across her abdomen. "What do you think about going off the pills and we'll just see what happens?" he asked quietly.

Susan reached her hand down and wrapped her fingers through his. "I would love that," she whispered. She turned around and kissed him. "Are you sure you want to have a baby? I loved being a mother and I would love to be one again, but it _is_ a lot of work. And I didn't have to deal with the pregnancy with Suzy." She had told him about her relationship with Chloe and Suzy, so she knew that he was aware of her love of the brief motherhood she'd experienced years ago.

Robert kissed her forehead and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "I never really thought I wanted children before, just like I thought I didn't need a person in my life to love. But it just seems so right. I don't have a lot of experience with babies, but I'm very good at training dogs. It can't be _that_ different…"

Susan looked amused. "I think there are some pretty basic differences, really," she replied. "But I'm sure you'll catch on. You're a fast learner after all. I do think you'll be a great dad some day." She smiled and sat on the bathroom sink as Robert leaned into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and enjoyed their first efforts at trying for a baby.

Robert looked into Susan's eyes as they made love. He could see the love she felt for him in them. It felt thrilling not to be using any form of birth-control. It felt forbidden somehow. He imagined their life forces joining to create a child. A child who would reflect the best of them both. A child who would look like them, and share personality traits, and yet still be a completely separate person from them. It was a fascinating thought.

"What do you think our baby will look like?" Susan asked when they'd finished and were in the shower.

Robert scrubbed her back with a soapy towel and thought about their genetics. "Strawberry blonde," he replied after a minute. "I mean, you've seen the pictures of how red my hair used to be…when I had hair…And blue eyes, like you. Hopefully tall. Medium build. In other words: perfect."

"Do you want a boy or a girl?"

Robert set the washcloth down and Susan turned to let the soap wash off her back. She grabbed the washcloth and used it to wash his chest and neck. "I don't know," he replied as she spent time washing behind his ears. "I think I'd be happy with whatever we end up with."

Susan grinned and gently washed his face and scalp. "That's what I like to hear," she murmured in his ear.

He loved the way she was touching him. She was so gentle and loving and he felt indulged and pampered. He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. They kissed for several minutes before Susan pulled away from him. "Think of the water bill, Robert," she said with a smile as she shut off the water and stepped out of the tub.

"All right, let's get ready for work now."

Within a half hour, they were driving to County. They kissed in the front seat for a few minutes before getting out of the car and walking into the hospital.

Susan's ring ended up being a big hit that day in the ER. "That thing's gotta be worth a fortune!" Chuny exclaimed, holding Susan's hand up so the diamond would catch the light.

"Wow, you finally landed yourself a sugar daddy," Carter sneered as he walked past them. "Better tell Romano to get one of those gold-digger detectors installed at his house."

"Carter, shut up!" Susan cried. "Jealous really doesn't become you. Did you know that?"

"So how did he propose?" Abby asked, breaking up the argument.

"First we went shopping for the ring and it was so much fun!" Susan began, her face flushed with excitement. "I love trying on jewelry though I never have much of a chance to, really. We went to a couple stores and I saw this one with a smaller diamond, but Robert insisted on a larger one." Abby smiled, Chuny squealed, and Carter frowned and rolled his eyes. "Then he took me to Tru, and during dessert, he proposed! Obviously I knew it was coming, but I still cried and got all emotional. Robert is surprisingly romantic."

As she said that, Elizabeth joined the group. "What's going on?" she asked, looking to see why everybody was surrounding Susan.

"Romano proposed. Apparently he's quite the romantic," Carter replied before grabbing a chart and walking away.

Elizabeth walked over to Susan and looked at the giant diamond on the other woman's hand. "How wonderful for you, Dr. Lewis," she said in congratulation, though her smile didn't quite meet her eyes. "I'm sure you two will be very happy together. He's clearly very much in love with you."

Susan smiled at Elizabeth before giving her a hug. "Thanks Dr. Corday, I'm so happy right now!" She pulled away from Elizabeth and smiled again. "I'm glad you're back now when Robert could use an extra friend." Elizabeth thanked her before leaving to find her surgical consult.

Robert came down to join Susan a short time later, and was met with wolf whistles and cries of congratulation. "Do you have good taste in jewelry!" Haleh commented as he walked by her.

"Almost as good as my taste in fiancés," he replied while walking over to Susan. "I take it the news is out…"

"Yes and everybody is so excited right now!" Susan threw her arms around Robert and boldly kissed him at the admit desk.

"Get a room, you two," Dr. Kovac joked as he walked by them to cross names off the board. He smiled and shook his head as they continued to make out in front of everybody.

"Did somebody say something?" Susan murmured as she and Robert finally broke their kiss.

"Who knows?" Robert replied. "I came down to see if you wanted to get some lunch. We could go across the street, get some sandwiches and take them back to my office if you want…"

"I would love that," Susan said, following behind her fiancé as he walked towards the door.

They bought sandwiches and hurried back up to his office to eat them. Susan sat on Robert's lap, and fed him bites of his sandwich. "It tastes better this way," Robert claimed in between bites.

"Nothing will ever taste as good as last night's dinner," Susan replied before taking a bite of her own sandwich. "Last night was absolutely magical. I will never forget it for as long as I live." She pressed her lips to his and hugged him tightly. "I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled as she reached down and unzipped his slacks. With a few deft moves, they were making love gently, in staunch contrast to the previous afternoon's experience. As much as he loved being wild with Susan, he thought these quieter, gentler lovemaking sessions actually satisfied him more.

After they'd finished, Susan remained as she was, embracing Robert and lying against him in his chair. She had her head pressed against his chest and closed her eyes to listen to the soothing sound of his steady heartbeat. "I love you so much," she whispered.

Robert reached his hand out and wrapped it around the back of Susan's head, holding onto her tightly. He had no words to express his bliss, but continued to embrace her tightly, until she began to pull away from him. "Don't go," he whispered with a frown, pulling her back and pressing his lips to hers.

"I have to get back downstairs," she whispered back, sitting up and slipping off his lap. "I think they're starting to get suspicious of what we're doing up here anyway," she began to get dressed again, much to her fiancé's displeasure.

Robert made himself presentable before Susan opened the door to leave. "You know what the best thing about marrying you will be?" he called out to her as she was in the doorway. When she turned and smiled, he answered. "Knowing we can do that every damn day if we want to and nobody can stop us!"

Susan winked and blew him a kiss before leaving to return to the ER. Robert sighed and sat back in his chair when he was alone again. Even with the horrible turn of events his life had taken since his accident there were still moments that made his life worth living. This was one of those.


	6. Chapter 6

By Friday, Robert and Susan had managed to finish packing up his office. The time was fast approaching for him to tell Kerry her good news. "Have you decided how to tell her?" Susan asked as they walked boxes out the door.

"I figured I'd call her up towards the end of the day and just say it," he replied, not looking forward to it.

"Would you like me to be there with you for moral support?"

"I'm a big boy, I can do this myself."

"Believe me, I know you're a big boy," Susan replied, wriggling her eyebrows at him suggestively. "I just thought I'd offer, that's all."

Robert grinned at her double entendre, and shook his head. "Thanks, I just need to do this alone, that's all," he replied honestly.

"Well, tonight when it's all over, I'll help take your mind off of all this. How's that?"

"I'd never say no to an offer like that," he said with a smile.

That afternoon, Robert called Kerry up to his office. She seemed startled to see it emptied out. "To what do I owe the pleasure of visiting you, Robert?" she asked cautiously, sitting down in the chair across from him.

"I have a job opportunity for you, Kerry," he replied, wanting to get it all over with as quickly as possible. "I am stepping down as Chief of Staff, and would like to offer the position to you if you'd be interested."

Kerry's eyes grew wide. "Stepping down, why?" she asked.

"It's too much stress for me as I continue with my recovery," he replied. "Plus I am going to be moving to a research position and I need to focus my attention on that."

Kerry looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding her head. "You always were great at that," she finally replied. "I think this might work out for the best, Robert. I will happily accept the job. You will do wonderfully in a research capacity." Robert nodded his head in agreement. "And I also hear that congratulations are in order for you and Dr. Lewis. I'm very happy for you two."

"Thank you, Kerry, that's nice of you to say that," Robert replied graciously. "We're very happy and excited." He stood up and looked around. "The place is ready for you to move in on Monday. I'm sure you'll do very well here."

Kerry stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you, Robert. I'll try to live up to your legacy," she replied. "Though that is a rather tall order, I'd say."

"Extremely tall, I'm afraid…" He sat back down in his chair. "So, do you need more notice or would you like to start Monday?"

"I can start Monday," Weaver replied before standing up to leave. "I'm sorry it had to end this way for you, Robert, but I am glad you'll still be working here."

Robert shrugged. "It could have been a lot worse," he replied. "I'm leaving this job on a high note."

(SCENE)

After Robert's shift ended, he and Susan carried out the last of his boxes from the office before leaving. "Are you going to miss it?" she asked as they walked out the door.

"Not really," he replied after a moment's thought. "I'll miss the power and prestige that came with it, of course, but I won't miss the administrative stuff and all the politics that went with it." Susan unlocked the trunk of the car and they placed the boxes inside. "It's surgery I'll really miss. I want to recover to the point where I can do it again. I want it so badly, but I have to learn to be patient, I suppose. It's not really my style but I don't have any other choice."

Susan wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him gently. "Who knows what will happen in the future," she said as they got into the car. "There could be advances made or a miracle or anything, but I hope your life will be tolerable at least, if you aren't able to return to surgery any time soon.

"More than tolerable," Robert said, looking at Susan and smiling. He saw the ring on her finger and nodded his head. "Way more than tolerable."

(SCENE)

Robert and Susan spent the next month talking about wedding plans. They had been very busy with work as well. Robert had gotten involved in an exciting study testing alternative muscle repair medications, and he was quite enjoying himself. Susan was busier than usual in the ER since Kerry was away with Chief of Staff duties. Time was flying by, and it was now a week before Halloween.

"We finally have a day off together," Robert said at breakfast. "We should start working on wedding plans."

"Wow, a guy actually instigating wedding plans?" Susan remarked incredulously.

"Well, we have to do it sometime, and now's better than any other time."

"I know; I just hate the idea of planning something that my family will show up for."

"What if I promised to take you shopping first? Then we can come home and start planning."

Susan grinned and nodded her head. "That works for me," she agreed.

When they were done with breakfast, they got ready for their trip downtown and drove off. They walked in and out of several boutiques and shops, and enjoyed their time together.

"Mrs. Susan Romano," Robert said as they walked towards a dress boutique, arm-in-arm. "I think that sounds lovely…"

"_Dr_. Susan Romano," Susan corrected. "Dr. and Dr. Romano…Or should I hyphenate? Dr. Susan Lewis-Romano?"

Robert wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "No way. No wife of mine is going to hyphenate her name," he declared emphatically.

Susan grinned. "All right, Romano it is," she replied. She knew Robert was more conservative than she was and had definite opinions on gender and marriage roles. He wasn't exactly sexist, just a traditionalist. She knew he'd adjust over time with the roles they'd take on as husband and wife. They'd be true partners in life; it would just take some time to adjust.

Robert and Susan went in and out of shops all morning long. Each time they left, they had another bag of clothes to carry. Robert decided that he really enjoyed pampering Susan. She took such delight in trying on clothes and jewelry; he loved watching her. She even let him sneak into the changing room with her a few times and gave him a private show. He'd never realized how wonderful clothes shopping could be before.

After a leisurely lunch at a nearby bistro, they returned to Robert's house. Susan put all the bags of clothes into the now overly-stuffed guest room. They had emptied out her apartment a couple months ago when the lease ran out and were currently trying to decide what to do with all her belongings.

Robert glanced into the room and winced. Two household's worth of furniture _and_ they wanted to have a baby one day. There were no other rooms big enough to convert into a bedroom. He shook his head and sighed. There was nothing else to be done. They would have to buy a new house. He was thinking four bedrooms, that way if they ended up with more than one child, they wouldn't have to deal with sharing rooms, and they'd still have an extra room for guests.

That night at dinner, they discussed wedding plans. "We should do something really fun, like fly to Vegas," Susan suggested.

Normally, Robert would not have liked an idea like that, but it struck him as fun. "It's definitely unique…" he replied.

When they finished eating, they moved to his office and looked online for deals. "You know…we could have any sort of wedding we wanted," Susan suggested at one point. "Also, it's fast, convenient, _not_ with our families…It would be perfect…"

Robert looked at her and grinned. "You're absolutely right," he replied. "We'll just need to get a couple wedding bands and make sure to get our marriage license when we go." They continued to plan their wedding as the evening continued. "What sort of theme should we have?"

"We could always get married by Elvis…It's sort of a Vegas tradition, right?"

"Are you an Elvis fan? I'm not really…"

"Me neither, but it was just a thought."

"Well according to most of the websites we can have whatever theme we want just as long as we let them know ahead of time. We just need to come up with a theme we both like."

"Well, what do we both like?"

Robert looked thoughtful for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. "You like the Beatles and I like classical music…You like film noire and I like political thrillers…You like reality tv and I like the Discovery channel. Not a whole lot of common ground there…"

Susan frowned. "It's amazing we get along as well as we do since we don't have many common interests," she replied.

"We do have a lot in common, just not necessarily pop culture. It's not a bad thing, really."

Susan thought for a minute and smiled. "We always have Indiana Jones…" she said, referring to the movie they'd watched the first time they'd kissed.

Robert grinned and nodded his head. "An Indiana Jones wedding?" he asked, looking at his fiancé.

Susan nodded her head. "It's definitely a very unique wedding."

"I could wear the hat and the whip, and you could wear Marion's sexy white dress from the first movie…It might be fun."

"It will be the best wedding picture ever!"

"Not to mention the best wedding night ever if we stay in costume…"

Susan grinned and nodded in agreement.

That night, by the time they went to bed, they had booked their Halloween Vegas Indiana Jones Wedding vacation for the next week. "It'll be so much fun," Susan yawned before snuggling against Robert for warmth. "And then we'll be married…"

"And then the real fun will begin," Robert murmured as he carefully draped his bad arm across her waist as he did every night. They were both asleep before either of them could say anything else.

(SCENE)

"Should we tell everybody at work what we're doing?" Susan asked at breakfast the next morning.

"Let's keep it to ourselves and tell them when we get back," Robert suggested. "That way we can officially say we eloped."

"Eloping, what a perfect word!" Susan said with a grin. "A week from now we'll be there! Oh! I guess I'll need to get the ok from Kerry to take the time off first…"

"That is one minor detail. I suppose I should ask too."

"Today, since we don't have time to waste."

Robert had no problem getting the time off, since his job was easier to put off if there was nobody there to do it. Susan, however, had to do quite a bit of negotiating and trading with the rest of the ER staff to get the time off.

"I have to work Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, but it'll be worth it," Susan declared that day at lunch.

"I'll make sure to work those days too," Robert offered. "That way we can be together for the holidays."

"Oh Robert, that is so sweet of you," Susan said, looking at him adoringly. "You are going to be the best husband ever, I think."

"I will do my best to live up to your expectations," Robert said, reaching out and placing his good hand on the small of Susan's back as they walked out to the car to leave.

That night, they snuggled in bed, after making love, and Susan turned on her side to gaze at Robert. She reached out and ran her fingertips over his collarbone and smiled. "You have far surpassed my expectations of a husband, just so you know," she said quietly. "I just think you're the greatest man ever and I am so lucky to have you in my life."

Robert had never felt more proud or complimented in his entire life. He felt his confidence soar. Susan had a way of making him feel so masculine, in spite of being a bald, shorter-than-average man. And knowing she really meant it, that she wasn't just saying it to be polite or to try and get something from him made it even more of a compliment. He grabbed her hand and rolled over onto his back, pulling her over on top of him. She smiled and pressed her lips to his. "We're both lucky, that's the truth," Robert said after they'd finished kissing. He smiled as she settled in to sleep against his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso. He ran his fingers through her hair, and minutes later, they were both sleeping soundly.

(SCENE)

By the end of the week, they had packed their bags, and after their shift at work, they took a taxi to the airport. Gretel had been taken to the kennel that morning on their way to work, with the promise that "mommy and daddy" would be home in just a few days. "Oh, I'm going to miss her," Susan said as they walked out the door.

Robert wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "She loves the kennel, and we definitely don't want or need her to come with us to Vegas," he said, kissing her cheek as they approached the car.

Getting to the plane was a bit of an ordeal, because Robert's arm set off the metal detectors, so he had to go through a more thorough search by security. Susan implored the security officer to be careful with his arm. "Please! He's an amputee! You're hurting him!" She looked concerned as the officers jostled his bad arm, causing him to grow pale and grimace in pain.

When she tried to rush over to his side, another security officer pulled her over and searched her as well. "Please, you have to be careful with his arm. Can't you see how much pain he's in?" she asked tearfully.

After several minutes, they stopped and moved on to carefully search their bags. Susan rushed over to Robert and helped him over to a chair to sit down. "Are you all right?" she asked, reaching out to take his good hand in hers.

Robert bit his lip and tried to breathe through the excruciating pain. The physical pain he could get over. It was the humiliation that was going to be difficult to overcome. "I guess we should be grateful we weren't strip-searched," he muttered once he could speak again. He hoped nobody was looking at them.

The search was concluded and the security officers were satisfied when they found nothing suspicious, and after a fifteen minute delay, Robert and Susan were free to board their plane. The first thing they did was order drinks.

Robert sat by the window and looked outside to the dark runway. Susan took his good hand and joined him in looking out the window. "Well, we're leaving soon, so let's just try to put this behind us and enjoy the trip?" she suggested as the flight attendant brought them their drinks. "Are you in pain still?"

Robert sipped his drink and shook his head. "Fortunately it doesn't linger too long," he replied quietly. That actually concerned him a lot. It meant the nerves weren't mending. They might never improve, and in fact, could begin to deteriorate until he lost all feeling in his arm permanently. But he didn't want to think about that now, and didn't want to scare Susan, so he kept his worries to himself.

Susan smiled and leaned over to kiss Robert. "This is going to be so much fun!" she declared as she watched a man walk over towards them, look at the plane ticket in his hand, and sit down next to her. She sipped her drink as the man settled into his seat. The man ordered a drink just before take-off.

Once they were in the air, Susan turned in her seat and looked at the man. "Where are you headed?" she asked curiously. She loved meeting new people on trips.

"Vegas," the man replied with a smile. "And you?"

"Same." Susan smiled and held out her hand, "My name's Susan and this is Robert," she said pointing to her fiancé. "What's your name?"

"Chuck Martin," he replied, reaching out to shake her hand.

Susan and Chuck talked while Robert continued to drink and look out the window. She was interested to hear that Chuck was a flight nurse in Chicago. "Really? Robert and I are doctors over at County," she exclaimed. "I'm an attending in the ER and Robert does research there."

"I've been there many times," Chuck said with a smile. "You have a lovely roof."

Robert nursed his drink in silence as he listened to Susan and Chuck talking. Chuck was going to be in Vegas the same time they would be, and the only thing they didn't have yet for their wedding, was a witness. "How would you like to go to a wedding while you're in Vegas?" he asked, speaking to Chuck for the first time.

Chuck looked surprised, but smiled. "What?"  
>"Susan and I are eloping," Robert explained, "and we need a witness. If you're interested, you're welcome to join us."<p>

"What's the dress code?"

"Indiana Jones chic," Susan said with a grin.

When Chuck looked confused again, Susan explained the wedding theme. "That is so cool!" he declared. "I'd love to see that. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."

The rest of the flight passed pleasantly with the three passengers sharing horror stories about their jobs. Susan held Robert's good hand tightly as he told the story of his accident, which they all decided was definitely the worst story of the day.

After the plane arrived, they parted ways, and Robert and Susan took a taxi to the Bellagio where Robert had reserved a penthouse suite. Once they arrived and had unpacked, changed clothes, and looked around the suite, they went out for a night on the town.

Susan won two hundred dollars playing the slot machines while Robert won three hundred at the roulette table. "You're my good luck charm," he said as he left the table with his winnings. Susan had stood next to him the entire time, watching with admiration as her fiancé kept winning.

They used their winnings to go to the most posh celebrity chef-owned restaurant they could find. Robert ordered the most expensive item on the menu and the oldest bottle of wine and encouraged Susan to order something pricey as well. "You only get married on Halloween in Las Vegas once, right? Or at least I hope so," he said as they read through the menu.

Susan enjoyed the dinner and the wine, but thought her dining companion was the best part of the meal. Even after almost a year of getting to know Robert, she never tired of listening to him and getting to know him even better. Every time she learned something new about him, it made her fall in love with him even more.

"You know, by this time tomorrow we'll be married," she said as their desserts arrived. "I can't wait to be your wife."

Robert smiled and nodded his head. "I never thought I'd want a wife, or to be somebody's husband, but here we are…" He thought a moment about Elizabeth and how badly he'd been in love with her over the years. Would he have married her if things had gone differently for them? Could he possibly have been as happy with her as he was now with Susan? Somehow, he thought not. He and Elizabeth would have always competed over everything. Over dominance in the relationship, over who had the more successful career, over who would raise the children and how to raise them. It would have been exhausting and he couldn't see how it would have lasted very long.

With Susan, things just fell into place. They divided things evenly between them and there was no competition. He didn't have to continually prove himself to her. He knew that when they had a baby, they would be able to work out a good system for the both of them. He didn't want somebody else raising their child either. He knew there would be a way to share the child-rearing that would let them both continue their careers _and_ raise their child. It would just take some figuring out.

As he gazed at Susan, he was once again reassured that he'd made the right choice. Susan was so perfect for him and he was struck with a sense of sadness that she hadn't come into his life sooner than she had. He thought of all the years he'd wasted on loving Elizabeth, but if Susan had never left County, they could have met five years earlier.

"What do you think our lives would be like if you'd never left County and we had met when I came back from England?" he asked her casually before pouring more wine for them both.

Susan set her dessert fork down and looked thoughtful for a minute. "Well, I was pretty confused about Mark back then, and you were pretty enamored with Elizabeth, so maybe nothing would have happened," she responded practically. She took a sip of her wine and thought some more. "Although…we might have been able to help each other get our minds off those people sooner. And then could have been enjoying five more years of amazing sex. What a sad and cruel twist of fate…" She frowned sadly at the thought.

Robert grinned and glanced around to make sure nobody would overhear them. "Think we'll have any of that amazing sex tonight?"

"Definitely…Our last night as unmarried people…Hey, you never had a bachelor party," Susan replied, realizing the important omission. "I know! I'll be your stripper, and later, we can get really naughty…" To help make her point, she slipped her shoe off, stretched her leg out under the table and tickled his inner thigh with her toes. "Did you know that the camera I brought with me has a video setting on it?"

Robert took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. He grabbed Susan's foot and tickled it, causing her to gasp and move her foot away from him. "I did not know that," he replied in a husky voice, "But I'd love to help you test it out…" He watched as Susan ate the last of her dessert and looked at him seductively.

When she was done, she set her fork down and grinned. "All fueled up for a long night ahead," she said with a smile.

Robert grinned again, and turned around in his seat. "Check please!" he called out.

After paying their bill, he walked Susan out to catch a taxi back to the Bellagio. He kept his arm around her possessively the entire way. When they got back to the hotel, Susan put on a show for him that even if he hadn't gotten on video, he wasn't likely to forget any time soon. It was the best bachelor party of all time.


	7. Chapter 7

Robert and Susan woke up late in the morning on Saturday. They were lying not in the hotel bed, but were entangled on the sofa, under a blanket. She had an empty champagne bottle in her hand and her bra was twisted around his ankle. He took the bottle out of her hand and set it on the floor while she crawled down on the sofa to free him from her bra. "How did it get so twisted?" Susan asked with a laugh as she finally managed to get it off his ankle.

"I think I remember how it happened," Robert said, sitting up and grinning as she started getting dressed. "When we get back home we can watch the video footage to remind ourselves…"

Susan smiled and nodded her head. "There's a lot of footage, but I won't mind watching it all," she replied. "For research's sake of course."

"Well, research is what I do for a living now, so we'll have to watch it _all_ together." Robert stood up, walked into the bedroom, and over to the dresser. He pulled out a clean set of clothes, and began to get dressed for the day. "It's a huge sacrifice of my spare time, but I'll do it…" Susan followed him into the bedroom and helped him pull his shirt over his arm. When he was dressed, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in to kiss her gently. "Last night was amazing," he whispered in her ear after they'd finished their kiss. "I can only imagine what tonight will be like…"

"Our wedding night…" Susan whispered back. "I can't wait." She kissed him again and they began to paw at each other for several minutes.

Finally, Robert pulled away from her. "Ok, enough," he said firmly. "If we don't get going soon, we won't have a wedding night tonight. Let's go get our marriage license and buy our wedding bands."

"But first, breakfast," Susan insisted. "I don't know about you, but I definitely worked up an appetite last night…"

Robert grinned as they walked out the door of the hotel suite. "I could eat three omelets I'm so hungry," he admitted. "You can wear a man down, you know. But in a good way."

They ate breakfast at one of the hotel restaurants, and set out to find the marriage license building when they'd eaten their fill. "It's open seven days a week," Robert commented as they walked into the building. "Guess that's a good thing in a town that's known for drop-of-the-hat marriages. It's good business."

There was a long line to get the license, but they stood in it patiently and chatted until their turn came. The process to get the license was quick and easy, and soon enough, they were back outside, on their way to look for wedding bands.

"What do you think? Silver or gold?" Susan asked as they walked to a jewelry shop.

"Well, gold would match my stethoscope," Robert replied. "Gold is the greater of the two metals; we deserve it."

"Oh, well, I guess gold works for me," Susan said, taking his hand in hers. "I don't mind either way. Gold, silver, plastic, mood, any ring works as long as you put it on my finger tonight when we say our vows."

The ring shopping took a couple hours, but they each came away with a wedding band they loved. After a quick lunch, they took a taxi to the costume shop to pick up the outfits they'd ordered for the wedding.

"I think this is the best idea for a wedding," the shop owner said as he ran Robert's credit card. "I hope you two have a great time and wish you good luck in your married life. Mazel tov."

"Thank you," Susan said as she gazed at her dress. It was a beautiful dress, perfect for a wedding. It looked just like the white one Marion had worn in the first Indiana Jones movie.

Robert looked at his whip and hat as they walked out of the store. "Are you sure we won't look _too_ ridiculous tonight?" he asked, frowning.

"Are you getting cold feet, Robert? We're definitely going to look ridiculous, but this is Halloween _and_ Las Vegas, it's the perfect place to look ridiculous. And we'll be doing this together, remember?"

Robert's frown turned into a smile. "True, having you here will make this much easier," he replied. He held the taxi door open for her to get in before sliding in himself and shutting the door. They drove back to the hotel to change their clothes before their limo arrived to pick them up.

"Do you think we made the right choice with the drive-through wedding chapel?" He asked once they were back in their suite.

"Just imagine the picture we'll have when we stand up and pop out of the window of the limo and take our vows. Not everybody can say they got married that way," Susan said. "I mean, we could always have gone with the helicopter ceremony, flying over the city, but…" When she glanced over and saw his frown, she crinkled her nose at him and winked. "Too soon to joke?" She walked over to Robert and kissed him. "Forgive me?" Robert pouted for a minute until she kissed him again, longer than the first time. "Please forgive me?"

Robert sighed after she pulled away and looked at him with a twinkle in her eye. "I suppose," he replied grudgingly.

Susan frowned and ran her fingertips over his shirt. "You suppose?" she asked. "If I promise never to joke about helicopters again will you forgive me for real?" He sighed again and shrugged his shoulders. "Well…what if I promise to…" she leaned in and whispered in his ear for a minute before looking at him with a cocked eyebrow. "If I promise to do that, tonight, will you forgive me completely?"

Robert grinned and wriggled his eyebrows. "When you promise such amazing things, how can I not?" he said. "Do I get a little preview? We have two hours before the limo arrives, we could get the wedding night started a bit early if you wanted to…"

Susan sat down on the sofa and looked coyly at her fiancé. "I suppose we could have a little preview of things to come…" she said, grinning at her double entendre.

Robert promptly jumped on top of her and gave her the little preview she had been wanting. When they'd finished, he wrapped his good arm around her and kissed her chin. "I forgive you," he said quietly.

"I'm glad to hear it," she said as they sat up. "Otherwise it would make our wedding ceremony pretty awkward." She stood up, stretched her arms out, and sighed. "All right, and now we have to get dressed. We have forty five minutes until the limo arrives."

Robert stood up and went into the bedroom to dress while Susan took over the bathroom. The next time they saw each other, they were completely dressed up as Indiana Jones and Marion. Susan had tucked a small red chrysanthemum behind her ear and Robert thought it looked amazing against her blonde hair. "You are so beautiful," he said, gazing at her.

Susan looked at the hat on Robert's head and grinned. The whip at his hip and the half-unbuttoned white shirt showed off his muscular body in a very enticing way. "You're not half bad yourself," she said, trying to will away the lustful feelings she was having.

As she reached out to run her fingertips across his bared chest, Robert reached out and twined his fingers through hers. "We don't have time for that now," he murmured before pulling her towards him and kissing her for a minute. "We'll have plenty of time tonight."

They both checked to make sure they had the rings with them before leaving the room and heading down to the lobby. The large green jeep Robert had insisted on renting was outside when they arrived. He had convinced Susan that Indy would drive a jeep, not a limo like she'd wanted. She had tried her best to sell him on the pink stretch limo with pink hearts in the rear window, but he had told her that was a deal breaker. Susan had given in and agreed to the jeep when he had promised to go to a Cirque du Soleil show with her while in Vegas. His dislike of that form of entertainment was well-known to her, but she had always wanted to see them and didn't want to go alone.

"Marriage is about compromise, right?" she had asked before they'd both made their agreements.

Robert helped Susan into the back seat of the jeep before getting in the other side. The driver sped off in the direction of Chuck Martin's hotel where he was waiting outside for them. He sat next to the driver as they drove off to the chapel. "You guys ready to tie the knot?" he asked, turning around to look at them. He laughed when he saw their outfits. "Love the costumes, you look just like them!"

The chapel wasn't far, and they arrived in about ten minutes. There was a long, covered side of the building that was the "tunnel of love" drive-through. The driver of the jeep appeared to be well-versed in how to proceed, and drove into the tunnel. The jeep was roofless, so they were all able to look up and see the dark ceiling with the large cupid and cherubs painted on it. "Oh my God, Robert, this is the best thing ever," Susan breathed as they drove to the middle of the tunnel.

"It's definitely one for the record books," he replied as the driver stopped the car. They turned to look at a door in the middle of the building's side that opened and revealed the officiant, walking out to them. Robert handed the driver a cd he'd brought for the occasion. "Can you turn this on, please?" he asked.

The driver slipped the cd into the player and suddenly the Indiana Jones theme began to play. "Now _this_ is music to get married to," Susan said as she got out of the jeep and walked around to the side, where Robert had gotten out near where the officiant was standing. Chuck got out of the jeep as well and stood a few feet from them to perform his official witnessing duty.

The ceremony was short, vows were exchanged, then rings, then they were pronounced husband and wife and they kissed. Before they even realized what was happening, Robert and Susan were married. They posed for pictures and everybody signed all the paperwork that needed to be signed. After about fifteen minutes, they drove away as the next car drove up with an anxious couple waiting to be married after them.

"We did it! We're married!" Susan cried as the driver of the jeep drove them towards the Strip. She threw her arms around Robert's shoulders and pummeled his face with kisses. "This was the best wedding of all time!" Robert smiled and tried to speak but Susan kept kissing him and he wasn't able to say anything. Finally, he pressed his lips to hers and decided that was enough of a response.

When the jeep pulled over, the three passengers got out. Susan thanked the driver and tipped him generously before he drove away. "Chuck, would you like to join us for dinner?" she asked as they began to walk towards the nearest casino.

"I think I should let you two enjoy your first dinner together as a married couple by yourselves," Chuck replied. "But this was a lot of fun! I'm glad you let me tag along. This will always be a great Vegas memory for me." Robert shook his hand and thanked him before Chuck left them to enjoy their first evening as husband and wife.

"Well, my wife, my good luck charm, should we try our hand at some of the games?" Robert asked as they walked into the nearest casino.

"I think we should, my husband," Susan replied.

They played several different games over the next couple hours, winning and losing money until Susan was too hungry to keep playing. "We can play some more after we eat," she promised as they decided where to go. "We could just hit the buffet…"

"For our wedding dinner? I might as well take you to the food court at the mall or McDonald's…" Robert frowned and walked towards the casino door. They'd collected their winnings and were back outside a few minutes later. "Let's go back to the hotel and eat at one of restaurants there. It'll be convenient when we're finished and want to head back to the room."

"We could make it even more convenient and order room service…" Susan suggested.

"Now that idea I like!" Robert said, grabbing her hand and heading off in the direction of the Bellagio.

(SCENE)

Robert stirred late the next morning and rolled over onto his good side. Susan was still sleeping next to him. He looked down at his wife's relaxed face and smiled. Their wedding night had truly been a night to remember. All their best-laid plans for wild and passionate sex had gone by the way-side, and they had ended up making love quite romantically and gently instead. He loved that the first time they'd been together as husband and wife had been tender and sweet.

He wrapped his bad arm around her waist and held onto her tightly while thinking about the fact that he was now a married man. Susan was his wife. It hadn't quite sunk in yet, but it made him smile to think about it. He was so used to Susan's fun and wild side, but he loved seeing her soft and tender side too. She was the most wonderful person he'd ever met and he realized he was the luckiest man in the world for having her in his life. He kissed her cheek and smiled as she snuggled up against him, sighing in her sleep. He held her close and fell back to sleep for a couple more hours.

When Susan woke up, she felt Robert's arm holding her, and smiled at the thought of being his wife. She traced her fingertips over his jaw, feeling the sensation of his stubble running through her fingers. He always looked "rugged" in the morning, as she liked to put it. She pressed her lips to his for a moment and watched as his eyes fluttered open. He unwrapped his good arm from her waist and wrapped his fingers through her hair. "Good morning, wife," he said, gazing up at the beautiful woman next to him.

"Morning, husband," Susan whispered, smiling and sitting up in the bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"How could I not? We definitely got some exercise last night…" Robert sat up next to her, reached over and tickled her leg teasingly.

Susan giggled and tried to move her leg away but he moved over with her and continued to tickle her. "Stop! Stop!" she cried, trying to grab his hand. Robert stopped tickling her, knowing she hated it when he didn't stop tickling her when she asked him to. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. "Thank you," she said quietly before kissing his cheek. She settled in against his side, allowing her husband to wrap his arm across her shoulders. They talked about the previous day and night's events, each making sure to talk about their favorite part.

"I was unsure at first about a drive-through wedding, but I think it turned out to be a lot of fun," Robert said, squeezing Susan's shoulder. "I think the pictures are going to be a hit when we send them out in the Christmas cards this year to our families…"

Susan laughed and nodded her head. "That should be fun," she replied. "Though we'll have to tell them a bit sooner I think." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I think my favorite part was when we went back to our room and ate our dinner on the veranda. And then afterwards when we went back inside and consummated the marriage…"

Robert grinned. "That was pretty incredible," he agreed. "I mean, we've had some spectacular sex up to now, but I think we outdid ourselves last night."

They lounged around the bed for a while longer before getting up to go to one of the restaurants for breakfast. As they ate they made plans for the rest of the day. "I'd like to do the Cirque du Soleil today, and maybe hit up a couple more casinos, but I don't know if we should go so far from the room for so long," Susan said in between bites of her French toast. "I mean, what if we get the urge to…you know…and we just can't wait?"

"Well, we're not barnyard animals, I think we can manage to contain our urges for a few hours," Robert said before taking a bite of his cantaloupe. "We are mature adults after all."

(SCENE)

Susan stuck her head into the women's restroom to see if anybody else was around. Nobody was coming out of the stalls or at the sinks, so she grabbed Robert by the hand and pulled him into the room. They hurried into a stall and locked the door behind them. Susan looked at her husband for a moment, a grin spreading on her face, and pulled him against herself.

They tore frantically at each other's clothes for a minute, and Robert helped hoist Susan up against the wall as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "So much for controlling our urges," she whispered in his ear.

Robert was concentrating on his task and didn't respond. He now knew that having his wife standing close to him in the casino while he was on a winning streak was a dangerous combination for his libido. They'd managed to go two hours after breakfast before needing this "bathroom break".

After five minutes, they had exhausted themselves, and after catching their breath, cleaning themselves up and getting dressed again, they carefully snuck back out of the bathroom and back to the gaming tables. "I think we handled that well," Susan whispered as they sat down at a table to play. She ran her fingers through her hair, and felt assured that nobody could tell what they'd just done.

They managed to go almost the rest of the afternoon, only having to sneak out during the Cirque du Soleil intermission for another "bathroom break". When the show ended, they went back to their hotel for the rest of the day.

That night, they sat in lounge chairs on the veranda and watched an electrical storm light up the sky. Susan moved her chair next to Robert's and grabbed his hand. "This is the best honeymoon ever," she commented as a streak of lightning flashed, lighting up the night sky. Robert squeezed her hand and nodded in agreement. She tugged his hand a couple times, and he stood up, moved over to her chair and sat down next to her. She lay back in the chair as he gently pressed himself against her. As they made love, the lightning flashed behind them, but they no longer noticed it.

(SCENE)

Robert and Susan returned to Chicago three days later. They were tanned, happy, and ready to get home. Gretel was excited to see them, and jumped up on both of them when they went to the kennel to get her. "It's mommy and daddy! We're back to get you and take you home! We're a family now," Susan said, scratching Gretel's head while the dog licked her face.

Robert smiled as he watched Gretel and Susan greet one another. He agreed that they were a family now, and he couldn't wait to brag to all his coworkers about it. As they walked the dog to the car, he told Susan how he wanted to see the looks on everybody's faces when he told them at work. "They're going to be so shocked!" he said with a laugh as they settled the dog into the backseat of the car.

"Shocked and amazed that the man who vowed never to love or marry anybody in fact, has just done both," Susan said with a grin. "Me, I'm a romantic at heart, and everybody knows my crazy side, so they probably won't be shocked at me. It's all you…"

When they arrived home, Robert insisted on carrying Susan over the threshold, but couldn't hold her in his arms. He gave her a piggy-back ride into the house instead, and set her down gently on the kitchen counter. "Welcome home, wife," he said before wrapping his arm around her and kissing her passionately. Gretel circled around their legs as they kissed. "Ok, ok, I'll feed you!" he said after a couple minutes. He pulled away from Susan and found Gretel's food and water bowls, filled them, and set them on the floor for her. "Happy now?" With that, he returned to kissing Susan, who was still seated on the kitchen counter.

The return to work was fun, and everybody was shocked, amazed, and highly amused to hear about their elopement. "I'm surprised, but I'm not, if that makes any sense," Carter said when Susan showed him her wedding band and the picture taken at the drive-through chapel. "Of course you'd elope!"

"I suppose that wasn't really in doubt," Susan agreed. "It was so much fun…"

"It looks like it was," Carter said. He sighed and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Congratulations. I really mean that. I'm happy for you and Romano; you two are perfect for each other."

Susan smiled. "Thanks Carter," she replied. "And you know, I'm going to be Romano too, as soon as I get a chance to fill out the paperwork and go downtown."

"Two Dr. Romanos! I don't know if County can handle that."

When Robert sought out Elizabeth that morning, she smiled and laughed to hear the story of his elopement. "It's so fitting for you two, Robert," she said, looking at the pictures he held out to her. "What a handsome Indiana Jones you made," she commented, smiling at him. "I cannot believe you met somebody on the plane and let him come to the wedding but you didn't tell anybody here about it! One of us could have gone with you to be a witness, you know…"

"Who, you?" Robert's eyebrows rose as he asked her.

"Well…if you'd asked, I would have considered it," she replied, looking slightly flustered.

"We wanted to keep it a complete secret to everybody. Even our families still don't know." He couldn't imagine how awkward it would have been to have had Elizabeth join them on their wedding trip.

"You'll have to tell them sometime." She patted his arm sympathetically.

"I know, I know…we're still trying to figure out the best time." Robert sighed at this thought. He really wasn't looking forward to it.

(SCENE)

By the end of the month, it was Thanksgiving, and neither Robert nor Susan had told their families about being married. They worked on Thanksgiving and were able to miss out on family gatherings, but they spent the ride to work discussing how to tell them. "Tomorrow, we have to tell them tomorrow," Susan insisted as she parked the car.

"Well, at least some time before Christmas," Robert said as he watched her take the tray of rolls out of the car trunk. She was contributing to the annual ER Thanksgiving potluck, but had been feeling under the weather over the last few days, and unable to make anything.

"No Robert, we call them tomorrow, and that's final," Susan demanded forcefully. A sudden wave of nausea washed over her and she stopped walking. "Whoa," she murmured, wobbling around for a second before thrusting the tray into her husband's arm and running towards the hospital door. She stopped next to a garbage can, bent over, and threw up.

"Susan!" Robert tried his best to run over to his wife and not drop the tray. He barely managed it. "Are you all right?" He looked at her carefully and frowned. "You're pale. Let's get you inside and take your temperature. Do you feel chilled?"

"No, and it's passed," Susan replied, wiping tears out of her eyes. "I don't think it's the flu…"

"You haven't eaten anything lately that could make you sick," Robert replied as they walked into the hospital and over to the elevator. He was going to make sure she made it safely to the ER and would insist on taking her temperature even if she didn't want it. "When was your last period?"

Susan cleared her throat and took the tray of rolls back. "Uh…I can't really recall, actually," she admitted.

Robert looked at her, his eyebrows raised. "Do you think we brought back a little souvenir from Vegas?" he asked quietly as they got onto the crowded elevator.

"Only one way to find out," Susan answered just as quietly.

Once Susan dropped off the rolls in the lounge, she and Robert walked down the hall to the supply carts. Robert found a pregnancy test on a supply cart and held it out to her discreetly. He paced up and down the hall for what felt like an eternity, contemplating the idea of becoming a father. Would he be a good parent? He knew Susan would be a great mother, but he was less than confident about his parenting skills.

He was thinking about his life as a married father when Susan approached him in the hall. "Well?" he asked, looking at her intensely, hoping to see a sign in her demeanor.

"Let's go into the Suture room to talk," she said, taking his hand and leading him into the small, quiet room. She closed the door behind her and sat down on one of the tables.

"Well?" he asked again. His heart was pounding, and he realized that he really hoped the answer was yes. He knew he'd be terribly disappointed if she wasn't pregnant.

Susan took a deep breath and reached out for his good hand. "The test was positive," she said, beaming at him. "I think we did bring home a little souvenir from Vegas!"

Robert's jaw dropped in spite of his best effort not to let it happen. "A baby," he breathed after a minute. He pulled Susan in for a fierce hug. "I'm going to be a father…" He looked at Susan and saw tears in her eyes.

She put her hands on his cheeks and leaned in to kiss him. "You're going to be the best father," she said, before hugging him again. "And now we _have_ to tell our families…"

"All right, all right, tomorrow," Robert agreed. "But for now, let's just keep this to ourselves."

"The best secret ever," Susan whispered.


	8. Epilogue

To all my readers of this story, I would like to thank you all for sticking around this far. I have so loved writing for Dr. "Rocket" Romano, as I have done for over a year now with my various ER stories. He has always been and always will be, my favorite character on this show. I started this story as a bit of a dare to myself to see if I could make a Robert/Susan ship work. I didn't think it would. I knew they had the potential to be great friends, but didn't think they'd ever be anything more. I see now that with a little work, the writers of the show could have created a wonderful relationship for the viewers to have enjoyed. Alas, they did not, so it was up to me to do it for them. I feel my time with ER fanfic has come to an end, and it is time for me to move on. I have ideas for some original stories I'd like to work on, but I wanted to thank you all one last time for all your support. Thank you all!

-Foodie

Epilogue

Molly flew through the air, her arms outstretched. She could see all the doctors, nurses, and patients in the ER walking around the floor. There was a smile on her face because she was towering over all of them. And she knew there was no chance of falling because she was wearing her magic outfit. Pink tutu, brown cowboy boots, and her blue Superman cape always made her feel confident; and she would never be complete without her signature plastic green stethoscope she received as a birthday gift from her father last year. She could feel "Uncle" Malik's strong hands hold onto her as he held her up and "flew" her around the admit desk. "I flying!" she shrieked in delight. "I flying!"

Malik set Molly down on the desk and smiled as the young girl clapped her hands. "That was fun!" she declared as "Auntie" Lizzie joined them. "I flied Auntie!" Molly exclaimed.

"Oh, Malik is good at that, isn't he?" Elizabeth asked while reaching out to tousle the two year old's pigtails. Molly had strawberry blonde hair that ended in curls that were currently tied in pigtails with her favorite yellow hair bands. "Did you have a good lunch with Auntie Haleh?"

"Yes she did," Haleh said, as she walked past them. "She ate all her fish sticks and almost all of her French fries. And for dessert she had chocolate pudding."

"It was nummy!" Molly reached into her boot and took out a fish stick that she'd placed there for safe-keeping. "You want?" She held the fish stick out to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth tried not to wrinkle her nose in distaste and took the fish stick gingerly from the girl's hand. "I'll save this for later…" she said, discreetly throwing it away while the girl was looking at Malik. She watched as Molly suddenly yawned and rubbed her eyes. "You've had a long day so far, Molly, would you like to come up to my office? There's a nice, soft sofa you can lie down on."

Molly frowned and shook her head. "Where's mommy and daddy?" she asked in response, looking around for them.

"They're very busy right now, Molly, but as soon as they can, your daddy will come and get you. Until then, I'm taking care of you."

"And you get to spend the day with all of us," Dr. Carter said as he set several charts down on the counter. "Aren't we fun to hang out with?" Molly responded by reaching out with her stethoscope and placing it against his arm. "Did your mother teach you how to do that?" he asked with a grin.

Molly moved the stethoscope away from Carter's arm. "All better!" she cried before applauding her good job of healing the doctor.

"Great job, Molly," Elizabeth praised, holding her arms out to the girl. "Let's say we go upstairs to my office. I think it's time for an N-A-P…"

Molly allowed Elizabeth to pick her up, but began to wail as they walked to the elevator. "Don't want N-A-P!" she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks. She waved goodbye to all the people in the ER as Elizabeth walked onto the elevator to go up to the surgical floor.

When they arrived at her office, Elizabeth settled Molly onto the loveseat. The child was asleep well before they even reached her office. From her desk, she looked over at the girl and smiled. Molly was such a sweet girl. She hoped her parents were doing all right.

An hour later, there was a soft knock on Elizabeth's door. She got up from her desk, grateful for the chance to stretch her legs, and opened the door. Robert was standing there; looking exhausted, but still managed a smile for her. "Well?" she whispered, stepping aside to let the man walk into the office. "What's the news?"

Robert looked over at the sleeping girl on the loveseat and smiled. "Molly has a baby brother," he said quietly.

"Oh, Robert!" Elizabeth exclaimed quietly before throwing her arms around him. "I'm so happy for you and Susan. How's Susan doing?"

"Thanks, Susan's very tired, but she's such a trooper. I don't know how she does it," Robert said, sitting down on the couch and rubbing his tired eyes. "How's Molly?"

"Oh, she's fine. She's been the darling of the ER today; everybody wanted a turn taking care of her. And I will be happy to take her for another night or two until you and Susan and the baby are ready to come home. Ella's enjoyed having somebody to have a sleepover with."

Robert smiled and looked down at his precious daughter. Now he had a precious son too. His heart was so full he wasn't sure it could handle anything more. He wanted to let Molly sleep, but wanted to share the good news too. "Molly?" he said quietly, reaching down and shaking her gently. "Molly, it's time to wake up…"

Molly sighed and slowly her eyes began to flutter. She was disoriented for a moment, but as soon as she registered who was sitting next to her, she smiled. "Hi daddy," she said, sitting up with her father's help.

"Hi, honey, I've missed you so much today, and so has mommy," Robert said, moving Molly onto his lap. "Something really wonderful happened today and I thought we could talk about it for a while before going to see mommy." After a quick diaper change, Molly was ready for her talk. Robert thanked Elizabeth, picked up his daughter, and left the room. "How would you like some ice cream while we talk?" he asked.

They went to the cafeteria and Robert bought her a scoop of frozen yogurt and a cup of coffee for himself. "Molly, do you remember the books we've been reading about sisters and brothers? And how we've been talking about when mommy has the baby how you're going to be a big sister? Well, today the baby was born, and now you're a big sister. Isn't that exciting?"

Molly was concentrating on her treat. "Sprinkles, daddy! Look!" she held the cup up to show her father.

"Molly, you have a little brother now," Robert continued. "Do you know what a brother is?" When Molly looked at him blankly, he tried to explain. "A brother is a little boy. He's going to live with us now and he's part of our family, like you are. Only he's younger."

"We go home now?" Molly jumped down from her chair and looked up at her father expectantly.

"Not yet. Mommy needs some time to rest first," Robert replied, reaching down and petting his daughter on the head.

Molly placed her hands on her hips. "Why?"

"She's very tired after having the baby."

"Why?"

"Because it's very hard work to have a baby." Robert sighed. Apparently Molly had reached the "why" stage.

"Why?"

"It takes a lot of energy."

"Oh."

"Let's go see mommy and the baby, all right?" Robert stood up and held his hand out to Molly, grateful that she had stopped her questioning.

"Can I hold your magic hand, daddy?" Molly asked.

Robert extended his left arm, the Utah arm he'd gotten after his amputation just a few months after Molly had been born. His children wouldn't know anything different, and he'd found his daughter's adoration had helped get him through the crisis of confidence he'd had after the amputation. When Molly took his hand, he smiled and imagined he could feel it as they walked out of the cafeteria and over to the elevator.

Molly babbled incessantly as they walked down the hallway of the maternity ward, but to her father, it was music to his ears. She was still talking when he opened the door to their room and ushered her inside. "Mommy!" she cried suddenly, letting go of Robert's hand and running over to the bed.

Susan was lying on her side, with her newly-arrived son next to her. Her eyes were closed, but she was trying to stay awake. Upon hearing her daughter, she slowly opened her eyes and smiled. "Molly-my-love," she said quietly. "I've missed you."

"I miss you too mommy," Molly said, reaching her hand up to pet her mother's. Susan had an IV in her wrist, but Molly was careful not to touch it. "Are you sick mommy?"

"No baby, but I'm very tired and very sore so the doctor is giving me some medicine to help me feel better."

Molly nodded her head as though she understood. "I can help!" she cried, reaching up with her stethoscope and placing it on her mother's outstretched palm. "See, all better now!"

Susan smiled. "You're a very good doctor, I'm very lucky to have you around," she declared. "Would you like to meet your baby brother now?"

Molly bit her lip and nodded her head again. Robert helped her over to the sink to wash her hands and lifted her up to the bed. Susan tried to sit up but was too tired, so Robert picked up the baby and gently placed him on Molly's lap. "Would you like to know his name?" he asked.

Molly looked down at the tiny boy on her lap and gently reached down to touch his cheek with one fingertip. "He's mine?" she asked. "My dolly!"

"His name is Christopher, Molly, but you can call him Chris."

"Hi Chris," Molly whispered. She petted his cheek and looked over at her mother. "He's sleeping."

"He's very tired. He's had a big day," Susan explained. "Being born is a lot of work."

Robert took out his camera and began snapping shots of Molly holding her baby brother. He wanted to make sure to capture all the memories he could. After several minutes though, Molly grew tired of having the baby on her lap. "Mommy, I want to hold you!" she declared. Robert set the camera down and gently picked up his son to allow Molly to move up on the bed against her mother's side. She wrapped her arms around her mother as best as she could.

Robert looked down at his son and smiled. Chris had wisps of red hair, his mother's mouth, and his nose. He had screamed for some time after being born, but had since quieted down and was quite peaceful at the moment.

Susan reached over to the table next to the bed and brought over a bright green paper bag with a matching bow on it. "Molly-my-love, this is for you," she said, handing it to Molly. "We wanted you to have it as a present the day you became a big sister."

Molly struggled for a minute, but finally managed to take out the stuffed animal inside the bag. "Mushu!" she cried excitedly. "My favorite!" She hugged the toy closely to herself and beamed. "I love Mushu!"

"I know," Susan replied before leaning down to kiss her daughter. "Would you like to show Mushu to your brother?"

Molly sat up and Robert brought Chris back over to her. "This is Mushu, Chris," she said, holding the plush red toy up to the baby. "He is a dragon."

"I think Chris likes Mushu too," Robert said with a smile. "I think Chris likes _you_ also." Molly beamed up at him. Before she could say anything, there was a knock on the door. Robert held Chris in one arm and walked to the door to open it. "Lizzie! Come on in," he said when he saw who was standing on the other side of the door.

"Hello everybody," Elizabeth said quietly as she walked into the room. "How are you feeling, Susan?" she asked, leaning down to hug her friend.

"Oh, I'm so tired," she replied, "But it was so worth it. Go look at him."

Robert brought Chris over to her and put him in her arms. "Oh, you guys…He's adorable," she said quietly. "He looks like the perfect combination of the both of you." She rocked him gently, gazing down at the baby. He made small mewling noises and flailed one of his hands out. "You are just so precious…" His mewling noises grew louder and suddenly he began to shriek. "Oh, I think somebody's ready for his dinner," she said, turning to Susan.

Robert helped Susan up to a sitting position, and together they undid her gown. Elizabeth handed Susan the baby and turned to Molly, who was busy playing with her new toy. "Molly, would you like to come home with me tonight and have a sleepover with Ella? Ella would love to have you stay over again," she said, referring to the fact that Robert had dropped Molly off the night before on the way to the hospital with Susan.

"Can Mushu come too?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Oh, he'll be the guest of honor," Elizabeth reassured her.

"Can my brother come too?"

"Well, he needs to stay here with your parents tonight," Elizabeth replied, "Tonight will be a girl's night for us."

"Ok," Molly said, picking up her toy and turning to her parents. "Night night, daddy," she said, holding out her arm to him.

Robert scooped her up and kissed her. "Oh, Molly, I love you so much," he said, hugging her tightly. "You be good for Auntie Elizabeth, all right? And we'll see you tomorrow." He kept her in his arm and held her out to Susan.

Molly kissed her mother's cheek. "Night night, mommy," she said.

"Good night Molly-my-love," Susan said, looking up from feeding the baby. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Have fun with Ella and Elizabeth."

Robert handed Molly to Elizabeth and walked them to the door. "Night night, baby brother," Molly called out, waving with her free hand to Chris. "I see you tomorrow!"

Elizabeth smiled as she walked out of the room. She could hear Susan sniffling and begin to cry. "Oh Robert, isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?" was the last thing she heard as the door shut behind them. As Molly settled into her arms, resting her head on Elizabeth's shoulder, she knew that the girl was going to make a wonderful big sister. Robert and Susan were lucky parents indeed.


End file.
